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Precious Moments-With Writer's Post Contest Notes

Two relaxing on a couch


Wind in sails, we take our couch for a ride
On a magic carpet of love, wide eyed,
Turning the channels to our grove and guide.

Snuggled together like two graying doves,
Nestling a good movie that shakes and moves.
We hymn as the plot thickens, like our love.

We pause for popcorn and bottle of wine,
Letting the seed to well so bubbly, fine.
Back to the movie, we're all smiles, and shine.


3/16/17

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Eve Roper Date: 3/26/2017 12:45:00 AM Very nicely done, very visual :) Connie... ~* Login to Reply

Connie Pachecho Date: 3/23/2017 6:54:00 AM lines 7-8 are a play on words, tying in with the thesis lines 1-2, tying in with the title. i like writing, where there's a story to tell, hidden meanings, metaphor, soliloquy, allegory. i.e,. doves, nestling, movie shaking and moving, thickening plot like our love, magic carpet ride, smiles and shine (antecedents). for a nine line poem i think i did okay painting a picture. i read the entrants that placed, mostly generic and bland but i guess that's the taste of the day Login to Reply Connie Pachecho Date: 3/23/2017 7:32:00 AM even the first line ties in with the third. wind in sails riding/navigating the channels.

Charlotte Puddifoot Date: 3/19/2017 5:36:00 AM this is very good; a neat nine-line poem with some original wording and good rhyming, not forced at all - i particularly like that last line Login to Reply