Prayer Is Not

Prayer is often self desire, to heal my guilt from my desire. So much pity breeds entire sessions meant to cleanse my fire. Then I think its good for me to rest my mind and honour faith for what its worth. To teach me how to serve another, Obedience to stop my mind from solving problems I might find. I stopped so many years ago, but never realised what was true. The message from the books of men distorted by the science then. Then I listened to myself, the prayer then starts to make some sense. I practice pausing, finding joy, the moments in between. I practice loving those that suffer, Letting go annoyance. Letting go my needs. Until I break and shout for life my senses unfulfilled I feel the shame again And so it dawns that prayer deludes It lies to me, denies my self for others to be granted time while I deny mine. Its not entirely a waste of time I simplified, to remember lines: Practicing compassion Practicing reducing venting. And anything that makes me wait Unfair proportions to my needs And that just works, I've found the truth to keeping joy in line.