Alyse Anderson Poet I do not know?

Prayer In a Diary

I'm so confused with my life, to many decisions, to many consequences, to much pain and 
hurt...why wont my mind unclowd itself? Where am I to go, I'm torn between 
places....unknown territory, or familiar faces. 

Lost in a world shaded with doubt, there is no one here to help me out. I try to run away 
from my problems, but there is no where to go I'm stuck inside myself. It feels like I'm 
standing in a crowd of 1,000 people screaming at the top of my lungs, crying tears of 
hoplessness...yet no one even turns a head. Nobody asks if I need some help, just a little 
advice to someone who hasn't seemed to figure out what life's about. 

Down on my knees now what am I to do? Should I pray to the man in the sky? I think he's a 
lie, too many people have had to die. Am I next or am I to wait? I don't want to have it be a 
surprise, I want to know if I'm to die when I close my eyes. So many questions but no 
answers, there's no one to ask, so I guess it doesn't matter. 

I'm tired of living this hopeless lie, that's why all I do is cry. I sleep all day so I'm up all 
night, I don't have to deal with a single person, or lose another fight, nor open another door 
that has no one inside. 

I look into your eyes and see into your soul, I wish I could be with you, and let you take 
control. But once again I'm in my trance and I push another away, so here I am by myself 
far from okay. I can't seem to trust anyone who comes to near, because I fear they'll hurt 
me and I'll cry more tears. I Slap people in the face with my poisoned angery tongue, I 
know it burns deep within their mind leaving scars upon there ego. 

Someday in this lifetime I hope things will change inside me and in this world, and I'll change 
into a strong woman and not a scared little girl. Tears will turn to dust for I will not need their 
company, lies will turn to truth for I don't need a secret identity. Fears will turn to hopes, and 
dreams to reality, anger turned to joy, and love from infedelity.

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Beata Agustin April 10, 2026 at 5:13 AM Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.

Poet Destroyer A March 11, 2016 at 1:08 PM awesome poem, Alyse....linda

Skat A July 21, 2015 at 3:52 PM ALYSE, Stopped by to say hello, I enjoyed reading your poem today. FOREVER <3 SKAT"

Carol Sunshine Brown December 28, 2009 at 10:27 AM I would like to welcome you to PoetrySoup Alyse. I also wish you the best in your writing endeavors. If you have questions please feel free to ask anyone here. We are all willing to help and if we don't know the answer we will find someone who does. Love, Carol

Michael Jordan December 21, 2009 at 12:27 PM Alyse- this poem is deep with raw emotions - So you know I'm an ex-con and ex-dope cook who found the Lord while serving a Shu term for stabbing another inmate so I understand the feelings of despair and of being lost inside my own skin - It was then at the age of 41 that I started writing poetry - You are certainly on the right track for the key to happiness lies within - Search inside and one day you will find out exactly who you are - God Bless, mj