Tom Bell Poet Rhyme

Prayer

Every time I see Billy Mays
My brain goes into a dark, dark haze.
I dream of ways to "dispatch him",
Chances of me meeting  this jerk
So nigh impossible, yet they lurk
Inside my usually useless mind
This would be my one chance
To make a life worth the work,

Like using "super-putty"
To cling 4 pounds of C-4
On his back
And watch him soar
Into the stratosphere,
To annoy us no more...

Or stick "Hercule's Hooks"
in his thighs,
And throw sharp darts,
At his eyes

Or make him drink
A cocktail made with "Kaboom"
And watch him, chuckling,
While in the room he did zoom

Or dunk him in his miracle tarnish remover,
See if he reactes all the sooner
As layers of Bullsh_t are stripped away,
I wonder , then, what he'd have to say!

He screams at me, late at night,
To buy his crap, 'cause it is just right
To solve problems I don't have
And just pay "Shipping ans Handling"
And he'll double my salve

Where has dignity gone?
Surely Billy Mays does not host
As a tour-guide on either coast
And if aliens did abduct him.
Who could blame them 
for doing us in?

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