Positively Deviant

She seems afraid to say too much and not listen enough. Perhaps fear of becoming misunderstood and, worse, too quickly dismissed, her moment, even in this small-staged sanctuary, unnoticed under-nourished unfed unwatered. She wants to share with us her deviant dissonant sufficiency usually seen as negative degenerating autonomy but, occasionally, in epiphanies of positive ecologically healthy revolutionary ZeroZen resonant potential, Receptive tingling silence thumping and breathing singly ringing singing timelessly herstoric within domesticating unreal world paradise, unwombed worn integrity re-memories echoing between nightseed dreams and switching off her leftbrain daily alarm. Until she smiles I am impressed by her nothing is sadly wrong yet everything goes unsanctuary too patriarchally long, Business As RightWing World gone, anxiety about personal and political and social and psychological and mental and physical health issues for future climate chaos kids reversing integrity's robust synergetic win-win potential. I notice then soft teeth with nearly infinite hard work pain suffering loss, alone? Physically alone and not spiritually unautomated feminist suffering deviance often in counterculturing win-win ways to help others, more win-lose predominant, suffer unspoken withdrawal defeated less. Once I see her primal eyes smile and suddenly my own competitive mistrust, my own opaque naked fear goes away, dismissed by curious eagerness. Compassion therapeutically co-arises. I ask if she too suffers without sufficient release from mutually withheld win-lose zero sums of loneliness, mistrust of fully disclosed intimacy vulnerability co-empathic joy. She continues now turning toward wealthy belly laughs co-operating integrity mutually vibrating abdowomen, soul sound of synergy's vast wisdom loudly rooting for potential global health through her sanctuary solidarity, still curiously becoming. She seems fearless to listen too much and eager to not say and sing enough already.