Porch Is Hilariously Messy

Porch is hilariously messy Anyone else would be ashamed to live here. I am amused. Vastly and proudly amused; it keeps away burglars, right? And salesmen. Green striped hose, red scooter, pink Barbie helmet, Fluffy blanket, mean cat, selfish dog, dead mouse in two pieces. Correction. Headless dead mouse in two pieces. Fluffy purple rug, desperately in need of a vacuum, pile of catnip, sixteen pieces of lawn furniture, we never sit on. As I am allergic to Shark, the cat, and my husband is too prissy to be out here with a headless mouse. Waterbowls, green with algae, look like typhoid fever soup. Golf ball, bouncy ball, blow up ball, deflated ball, bowling ball, ugly faded pink flowers probably full of wasp nests, garden shears, one green garden glove, two empty Amazon boxes. Hey, did they deliver something else yesterday? I jump up and take a peek. False alarm. Last week’s dead mouse. I had forgotten I put it in there. I would have more to add, but I think you get the drift and I want a nice warm bath….