Pondering

I thought I would be over this now
but my thoughts keep trying to hold me down
things I stored away are coming back in force
they want revenge
haven't made peace with it
I just stuffed it back in and said I did
all it needed was a little tap and it opened again.
Spending hours thinking about it,
wasting today trying to figure it out
how to put it away, put on a fake smile.
That's how I stay sane for the moment
until it creeps back in. 
Apologizing for the position I was in.
Can't wait for this to end. 
I should've never led you in,
I can't shake you. 
Memories that remind me I was never enough. 
How you took advantage without a second thought.
I can't enjoy today with you in my head.
Where's my shovel at?
so I can bury it again.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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