Pondering

I thought I would be over this now but my thoughts keep trying to hold me down things I stored away are coming back in force they want revenge haven't made peace with it I just stuffed it back in and said I did all it needed was a little tap and it opened again. Spending hours thinking about it, wasting today trying to figure it out how to put it away, put on a fake smile. That's how I stay sane for the moment until it creeps back in. Apologizing for the position I was in. Can't wait for this to end. I should've never led you in, I can't shake you. Memories that remind me I was never enough. How you took advantage without a second thought. I can't enjoy today with you in my head. Where's my shovel at? so I can bury it again.