Plaything of Time

I live like a cancer - quick, unplanned growth unheeding of greater designs. I devour information like a starving wolf - never sated, never tasting the goodness I consume. I throw myself into activities under exhausting self-compulsion. I should ... so I do ... so I'll die ... I create in a fit of madness, barely finishing one draft before my mind races to the next. I busy myself and flood my ears with music. I let my seething mind boil over without restraint. I do what I can to escape thinking of you - O Time. Scythe-wielding Saturn, most ancient of fears. First to murder his father, only to taste the same fate. Do I fear death so much? I don't know ... But I quail at the shortness of life. There's so very much I want to do ... And surely it's better to do much, right? Especially when we're not sure whether all we do is right. How can we love what we fear? What we dread? Time, O Time ... Time ... Time .... Time ..... 16 October 2023