Pink Tears of Julia

can I have a silent treatment? where no soul will hear my screams and lament? it's shameful.. I can't even raise my head up. I can't bear to watch the sun blind me. it's been two years, not even a feel of the breeze that comes freely did I receive. why? because he chained me he rode on me every day and night. moaning ruthlessly into my fading drums. where I laid was where I cleaned, ate and released those cloying fart. he was the first and I was just 13. not fully developed into a real flower. he destroyed my ego. stopped me from being informed. had me for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In which there was appetizer, main dish and dessert. he did not mind the fact that I wasn't a wood. tears got disgusted coming out. pains became a next door neighbor if not a pal. the legs I called mine, tore open like thousands boils in it. my own became a free will he had when he wanted, he told me he loved me and that he was doing the right thing. he lied... he lied to me, plainly and I couldn't check. who's fault was it? he threatened to kill if I spill. and shut the door of my lips with roses. the worst that got me into this madness is. he was my father.