Pet Rocks Take Over

Pet Rocks Take Over Pet Rocks come from down in Mexico way You cannot put a price on pleasure .95 cents was once upon a time their cost For $4.00 you could not go wrong $20.00 is the cost today You can still put them in the refrigerator And there they will stay, obedient and calm If they charge any more for them I’ll need a second job To pay for them and the ones in my head They still come with instructions and warnings I’ve taught mine how to sit and play dead all day Place them in the sun to keep them warm in morning Remember, cold storage is the best they say I fear one day they will leave me for eBay Pet Rocks will take over the world that way (Here is my other Pet Rock poem for your reading pleasure already posted on Poetry Soup.) Pet Rocks Don’t Snore Every ten years or so I rewrap my pet rock In tin foil to keep it safe and secure Then place it back in freezer storage Unwanted guests visit after midnight sometimes They steal my rock from cold storage while I sleep Night stalkers think, it is a roll worth buttering and eating Place it in the microwave to thaw But it won’t thaw At breakfast they complain to me I tell them to dip it in their coffee Go ahead! Dunk it! Dunk it some more! I say After breaking teeth A dentist visit is in order Unwanted guests leave my rock in peace Learning it is not a treat Pet rocks don’t go to war More importantly, they don’t snore They are kept in the refrigerator That is what pet rocks are for