Earl Schumacker Poet Free verse

Pet Rocks Take Over

Pet Rocks Take Over
              

Pet Rocks come from down in Mexico way
You cannot put a price on pleasure
.95 cents was once upon a time their cost
For $4.00 you could not go wrong
$20.00 is the cost today
You can still put them in the refrigerator
And there they will stay, obedient and calm
If they charge any more for them
I’ll need a second job
To pay for them and the ones in my head
They still come with instructions and warnings
I’ve taught mine how to sit and play dead all day
Place them in the sun to keep them warm in morning
Remember, cold storage is the best they say
I fear one day they will leave me for eBay
Pet Rocks will take over the world that way

(Here is my other Pet Rock poem for your reading pleasure already posted on Poetry Soup.)
            Pet Rocks Don’t Snore
Every ten years or so I rewrap my pet rock
In tin foil to keep it safe and secure
Then place it back in freezer storage
Unwanted guests visit after midnight sometimes
They steal my rock from cold storage while I sleep
Night stalkers think, it is a roll worth buttering and eating
Place it in the microwave to thaw
But it won’t thaw
At breakfast they complain to me
I tell them to dip it in their coffee
Go ahead!  Dunk it!  Dunk it some more!  I say
After breaking teeth
A dentist visit is in order
Unwanted guests leave my rock in peace
Learning it is not a treat
Pet rocks don’t go to war
More importantly, they don’t snore
They are kept in the refrigerator
That is what pet rocks are for

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Dr. Upma A. Sharma April 1, 2015 at 11:29 PM Wonderful as ever Earl! And no grief as they don't hv to die! Earl Schumacker April 2, 2015 at 9:16 AM Good morning Dr. Sharma, Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Mr. Dahl, the inventor of the Pet Rock just died. I read an article about his life and some facts about the rocks and the marketing and selling of the items. He was smart enough to cut some breathing holes in the boxes when he shipped the rocks....just in case.... Thanks again for commenting. Have a wonderful holiday. Earl

Jan Allison April 1, 2015 at 4:32 PM I think a pet rock sounds a brilliant compromise Earl no poop to clean up doesn't need feeding and no vets bills lol:-) Hugs jan xx 7 xx Jan Allison April 1, 2015 at 6:09 PM Could just get a rock off the beach - that would be free lol:-) Hugs jan xx Earl Schumacker April 1, 2015 at 6:00 PM Hi Jan, Thanks, The man who invented the Pet Rock, Mr. Dahl, just died. I read about his history and the origin of the rocks. I never owned one but thought it was a clever idea. The rocks are from Mexico at .95 each. The mark up today is ridiculous. $20.00 plus shipping cost is absurd. You are right. Their saving grace is that they are low to no maintenance. Take care. Earl