Michele Holub Poet Free verse

Peering Into the Looking Glass

Through all the struggles of this rejection 

I searched for the lessons hidden inside the pain 

Falling down the rabbit hole of this theory and that 

While muddled by limerence and rumination 

Curiouser and curiouser as Alice herself 

“Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned of my core wound of abandonment 

 

I was performing for love I thought needed to be earned  

While holding expectations of what I projected to exist 

Seeking validation and craving attention in return 

I yearned for consistency with emotional intimacy 

With a curtsy I hastily picked up every breadcrumb dropped 

“It’s very easy to take more than nothing.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned that I chase ghosts for love 



My savior complex loved harder to mend the pain 

As I carried the tormented burden of another’s sorrow 

Depleting my energy as I walked through confusion 

My empathy absorbed the weight of a broken soul 

I am a healer who bleeds while tenderly bandaging others 

“If one only knew the right way to change them.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned of trying to fix wounds I didn’t create 

 

I stayed too long because hope felt safer than grief 

While this heartbreak traveled at the speed of fury 

Betrayed by my intuition as I shrunk into devotion 

I poured out vulnerability as my radiance dimmed 

I justified warnings while painting the roses red 

“I can’t explain myself because I’m not myself, you see.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned that I was sacrificing my own needs 

 

 
The sting of jealousy grew in my feelings of inadequacy  

I felt flawed, ignored, and hidden from view 

Needing reassurance as I tolerated disrespect 

I people-pleased while bracing for rejection 

Here I remained small in my insecurity and suspicion 

“I wish I hadn’t cried so much!” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned of my low self esteem 

 

My reactions got bigger as my nervous system was triggered 

While trauma patterns forced me into survival mode 

Holding my wounds open as emotive catastrophes 

My panic worsened as I imagined concocted scenarios 

I mistook intensity for connection while hijacked with fear  

“Oh, you can’t help that, we’re all mad here.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned of my turbulent protest behavior 

 

 

My hyper focused sensitivity monitored for certainty 

As I stayed vigilant to all the heightened threats 

Watching for clues and timestamps on every page  

I studied every behavior like a game of chess 

And felt the energy shift as trust was eroded 

“Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned that I overanalyze everything 

 

 

Now I must move forward with my boundaries intact 

Since I have clarity now on my value and my worth 

Release the pain and control as I grow and self sooth 

I must put down the load that I wasn’t meant to carry 

I will face my own wounds and swallow my need to be chosen 

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” 

Peering into the looking glass, it reflected back to me 

A lesson learned to choose and love myself

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Michele Holub May 28, 2026 at 1:33 PM Author's note: I've been working on this for 3 months and I still feel like it's not finished. I would welcome any feedback on how to improve it. Thank you.