Parted Lovers

We broke up at sunset, 
under the wailing cry of a baby jet paddling through the evening sky. 

We admired the leaking light, 
our twin shadows retreating 
into the lustreless night. 

We're finished. 

We'd diminished. 

The sun, parting from the day, 
stole its radiant light— 
and love, too, 
fell into decadent blight. 

The last minute-mile of us was a story, 
not of morning-glory ecstasy, 
but of whispered goodbyes, 
painfully polite, 
spoken under fading light.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 4/9/2025 7:01:00 AM
Very succinct. I like th build to the "painful polite" parting climax Trina.
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Layne Avatar
Trina Layne
Date: 4/9/2025 8:31:00 AM
Thanks for your feedback :)
Date: 4/4/2025 11:07:00 AM
I saw you on Andrea Dietrich's page and spirit told me to visit. Thought I'd start at the beginning. This poem was definitely 'under commented on'. The imagery is beautiful and the feeling delivered with great impact. I do wish you'd wrap the 2nd line for visual effect (just me.) There's the feel of acceptance rather than grief, sorrow accepted and swallowed. CayCay
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Date: 12/24/2024 11:04:00 AM
Well, at least the parting was amicable, if uneventful. We're finished. Wed diminished. Says it all.
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