Parted Lovers

We broke up at sunset, 
under the wailing cry of a baby jet paddling through the evening sky. 

We admired the leaking light, 
our twin shadows retreating 
into the lustreless night. 

We're finished. 

We'd diminished. 

The sun, parting from the day, 
stole its radiant light— 
and love, too, 
fell into decadent blight. 

The last minute-mile of us was a story, 
not of morning-glory ecstasy, 
but of whispered goodbyes, 
painfully polite, 
spoken under fading light.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Fowler Avatar
April 9, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Very succinct. I like th build to the "painful polite" parting climax Trina.
Layne Avatar
April 9, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Thanks for your feedback :)
Godwin Avatar
April 4, 2025 at 11:07 AM
I saw you on Andrea Dietrich's page and spirit told me to visit. Thought I'd start at the beginning. This poem was definitely 'under commented on'. The imagery is beautiful and the feeling delivered with great impact. I do wish you'd wrap the 2nd line for visual effect (just me.) There's the feel of acceptance rather than grief, sorrow accepted and swallowed. CayCay
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace