Part 1 Bonding
Today, guys is all about bonding
Relying on your partner for support
We’ll split you into groups to begin with
Then you will give us your name and a brief summary of yourself
Keep it light. What you watched last night is good to go
Oh, please let me be in the group with the blond
Oh, please don’t let me be in the group with George
Would someone like to start
I’ll start. My name is George. Last night, I watched an enthralling documentary on Panorama, all about the extinction of the Dodo bird
God, strike me down now
And what would you say you learned from the programme
Basically, how one must change to survive. Applause.
My name is Paul, I too had a Panorama sort of night, I had a panoramic view of the girls in the Strip club.
Well, and what did you learn from that experience.
I learned that if you put your taxi money into a stocking, you walk home. Muted groans.
My name is Julie, and I would just like to say that I find establishments like strip clubs offensive and demeaning to women. Loud applause.
God, what are you doing to me.
Would you like to respond to that Paul
Well, Julieanne I’m gobsmacked by that reaction.
My name is Julie
Oh sorry, I lost someone close called Julieanne, force of habit.
Oh, I’m sorry.
Pet rabbit.
What, are you kidding?
Let us swiftly move on.
Summary complete.
In this exercise you will be split into pairs, you will complete a series of tasks, which will see you working together to complete an obstacle course as quickly and as safely as possible. The instructions are on every task.
Come forward when I shout your name.
Julie, Paul.
God, Thank-you.
Right, to start you off. Paul, you will take the rope which is on the platform, you will swing over the mud and water to the other platform, swing the rope back to Julie who will join you. I will warn you now, the rope is intentionally short, you will have to judge your jump, if you make it, you must grab Julie when she swings over. OK let's get started.
Let me tell you now, do not grab me in any inappropriate places.
Inappropriate places, would that be like, Swansea, Bristol.
Right, go, well done, throw the rope back, right Julie go.
Grab me. What. Grab me. Did you say, grab me?
Julie’s in the mud up to her ears.
I will go first on the next task, and god help you.
OK Julie, just not to close.
Task 2. Your partner is injured, you must carry him or her across the river to the field hospital.
Did you say you would go first?
Yes, I did. Get on my back, and watch where you put your hands.
If you insist, Julie.
Doing well Julie.
Shut up.
Call me Paul.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
If you make it, fancy a drink tonight.
If this kills me, I’ll make it just to shut you up.
That’ll be a no, then.
Well done, Julie.
Get off.
Oops.
Further tasks completed.
Copyright © Paul Bell | Year Posted 2025
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