Pardon Me Mr Trump

Dear Mr president I seem to be in a spot of bother, Would you please grant me a pardon before you depart the oval room, Seeking a change of reality I ran away and joined the circus well actually it was more a sideshow Ringmaster said I’d fit in better with the midget contortionist, however I was drawn towards the Siamese triplets, joined together at their knees and elbows since birth We got up to all sorts of hi jinx and Shenanigans life was great, til the one in the middle decided to leave our troupe, Me being their best friend they asked would I do the separation, eager to help them I agreed to perform the operation Not having a clue about surgery I decided to knock them out with a sledgehammer borrowed from the strongman, and use the knife throwers sharpest blades, I butchered them remorselessly for hours, was a very difficult operation, but wholly satisfying for me anyway, Unfortunately but not unexpectedly, the middle one suffered the most cuts and bled out pretty quick, the other two died days later in multiple beds, I was put in some hospital for the criminally insane, and doped up to my eyeballs on potent medication, actually settled in quite nicely here, Worse part though is I had a fantastic combover like yours now they shave my head every other day Some say they’ll never let me out, only occasionally do I think of going on killing rampages, I’m not getting on to well with the parole board, “mostly democrats” but hope to marry the midget contortionist, on our next imaginary visit, The circus was disbanded, shortly after, and they all live on welfare now, bunch of really great guys. I’m a republican PARDON GRANTED By David Kavanagh