Panic

When the panic attacks first started, I brushed them off. At first, I would feel shocked and surprised by them. But surprisingly able to stand after. And even run out of my car so I’m not late. It’s only a few minutes. Maybe a couple times a day. Or three, or whatever. Yes, sure, I have time. When I started blacking out, it felt even shorter. And I could just count down until I gently went under. But it’s easy enough to recover. I won’t let them take over my life. Even as it gradually gets worse. It’s funny how I didn’t think of the damage it would do. Over a few weeks and then months. Until it became slowly more unbearable. Maybe I’m not that strong after all.