Pandemonic Hope

"I believe in the sun even when it is not shining" I remember someone recently resaying what has long lain unsaid inside my paradoxical head, When asked if I believe in God, I don't know what to say. I might not believe in your God, at least on my worst pain-darkened day. And, I seem to believe in my own only in those rare rain-free moments healthy ego- and eco-gratifying When I am having a climax heart and head song and dance remembering re-ligioning reconnecting EarthMoment Shared with at least one Other, perhaps for our first through last time in this our day of sacred synergy Sustaining surrounding celebrating a yellow morning mellow sunrise promising this wealthy day without soggy rain pain As we prepare to health harvest warmly fragrant sun-dried hay I quietly say So, there is a God, after all. "And I believe in love even when there's no one there. And I believe in God even when he is silent." These two additional beliefs feel like one Relief Belief to my bicameral head choice and heart voice. For it has often been said and felt that God is love Especially when Matriotic HolySpirit of Love doesn't act like a Patriarchal Fool And, by that, I reference my own sociopathology of privileged entitlement monoculturally over-invested in capitalist Straight White Earth Predations Colonizations Extractions Rapaciousness But, my most courageous inscriptions of whispering hope often not felt enough sacredly chosen silence resting in spaces arresting between my LeftBrain dominant distracting notes Where my own AnthroSupremacism falls vibrantly listening to responsively hear Elder MotherTrees sigh and breeze Silently praying for strong rooted cooperative integrity Within this organic Green Communion forest of hands on generating regenerous Hope.