Painful Fate

Pain splatters teardrops on my brain No wonder why I’m soaking from misery’s rain I tried to comfort her and take her under my wing But every time we talked her words left a burning sting So I put a pillow over her head Wishing and waiting for her to be dead But instead she slapped me into confusion Is my life real or not? A question that gives me frustration So I used to hurt myself to know what’s real I couldn’t even trust the way I feel And the only feelings that I had are the ones I didn’t want Like nightmares and relationships; and all the others that shall always taunt I wanted to drink until I got severely drunk Maybe that would get me out of this funk But then I said no; I’m too afraid to be my father Imagine everyone telling you that you’ll be just like that monster I’ve been told that like a million times And I felt like if I was slapped by billions of extremely sour limes Words that almost made me commit suicide Everything that broke me and made me fall Yet didn’t kill me didn’t make me stronger at all Why do people say things that make no sense? Are they all lies or is my life just a bit intense Why would I want to hear that I would be abusing Backstabbing and abandoning everyone I’m supposed to be loving And worst of all I look just like the monster that I hate So I despise myself and my devastating fate Because from the pain I cannot hide I would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger And hear my heartbeat quickly get bigger Fall to my knees and say goodbye And let my last tears fall from my eyes Written under the influence of anger and depression