Pained But Free

You could have just told me, but you made me feel unloved and a waste of time. If time was truly what you needed, you know I wouldn’t given you that. You’ve told me things before.. haven’t you? You’ve trusted me, complained to me, relied on me… so why did you stop ? I thought staying and being patient would help you realise I truly wanted to be there for you. I still don’t know what you thought of me. If I even meant anything to you.. if I did, then I guess you were too scared to show it. You’ve loved before. You know how to love. Why does it change when it’s me? Do I remind you of something? Are you angry with me? Was I too loving ? So many questions fill my mind, those that will never be answered. I loved every part of you. Never judged you, never wanted to change you. I kept wanting to be nurturing, having someone to love unconditionally. Wanting them to grow as I sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labour. But it was not my place neither was it my job. I was scared of you outgrowing me, finding better or someone more deserving. I have let go of my desires. I have let go of wanting to mother you. I have my own responsibilities and my opinions of love has changed. Farewell. I have left the nest, like a free bird seeking its own journey. I’m not longer sitting in the nest waiting for you to return, rather I have left to start my own.