Overthinker
I made another mistake today
I just don't know what to say
I swore i was going to be better than yesterday
I beat myself down as I keep telling myself pessimistic thinking isn't the way.
Forgive me Lord, I mutter
These negative thoughts form in clutters
What if I just suck, What if it doesn't work out
Somedays I just want to go to the ocean; Scream and Shout
I was told I am an overthinker
Turns out I am just overly anxious about life
I get overwhelmed, Life overstimulates me
And my thoughts have a field day with it
Sometimes words are my enemies
How dare they control my thoughts
But when it comes time to say how i feel to others, they disappear
Words are making me anxious
Maybe it isnt Words
Maybe its demons parading as my inner sobateur
The ones that cause self doubt and insecurities?
Or maybe its the demons that cause me to withdraw from society?
All of them make me anxious
Wondering what kind of woman I will be
What I would do, and who would still be in my life by then
I wonder what life will be like.
Anxious or overthinker
Maybe itss two different demons in one
And both exist in me
As I just sat here and overthought my anxiety.
Jonesy 2022
Copyright © Calalusiana Jones | Year Posted 2022
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