Overthinker

I made another mistake today I just don't know what to say I swore i was going to be better than yesterday I beat myself down as I keep telling myself pessimistic thinking isn't the way. Forgive me Lord, I mutter These negative thoughts form in clutters What if I just suck, What if it doesn't work out Somedays I just want to go to the ocean; Scream and Shout I was told I am an overthinker Turns out I am just overly anxious about life I get overwhelmed, Life overstimulates me And my thoughts have a field day with it Sometimes words are my enemies How dare they control my thoughts But when it comes time to say how i feel to others, they disappear Words are making me anxious Maybe it isnt Words Maybe its demons parading as my inner sobateur The ones that cause self doubt and insecurities? Or maybe its the demons that cause me to withdraw from society? All of them make me anxious Wondering what kind of woman I will be What I would do, and who would still be in my life by then I wonder what life will be like. Anxious or overthinker Maybe itss two different demons in one And both exist in me As I just sat here and overthought my anxiety. Jonesy 2022