Outline

People like me do not live 
We survive
Day to day and hour to hour
Born into poverty
Raised in abuse
  We ate trash
    We were trash
      And no one cared
Alzheimer's stole her mind
I watched her peel away
Through the years
And I watched her die 
I heard her screaming through the walls
And she finally died, my Mymaw
Then, Raped by love 
  Molested by secrecy 
     He was my first step-dad
I tried to kill him
  But he knew!
    And the chamber was empty.
What good is a gun without any bullets?
So, I tried to leave
But the locked doors kept me alone
And they lied
It wasn't helping
  They medicated me
   Tied me to a bed
      Repeatedly
      Repeatedly
      Repeatedly
Blue hands stopped moving
Heart pounded heavily
And the bed shook with each beat
   And no one cared
14 months I spent playing their game
Toss the ball and smile
Write my name and smile
Hug the other kids and smile
Eat the crappy food and smile
I was so sick of smiling!
Inside I was screaming!
Why the hell did I try to make it right by choosing to go there?
GOD, what a mistake!
I came home to a broken mother
She hated me
And she left me alone
Loneliness can consume
I was pregnant at 17
I married because I had to
But he chose not to grow up!
Who cared?
I did
I left and went to college
Alone with a baby boy
 And I struggled
   And tried
     And did well
Off to University
...and I failed
Single parenting was mad
It ruined my work
My transcript looked sad
Almost as sad as me
I worked at McDonald’s
This is where I learned
I stole nuggets for my son
And snuck eggs in my pockets 
Cold fries
My son seemed happy
I wasn't
McDonald's had crookedness
And their selfishness stole from me
  I became a shadow
   I hated everything
Then I found love
He is a good man
Adopting me and my son
Helping to sooth the burning scars
And to open my eyes and heart
I could breathe once more
I had another boy
And he is special
Because he is like me
He feels everything
 And gets hurt
   So, I protect him
     Because I know
       And I teach him
To fight to live!
MS takes me
 It steals me
  It kills me
   And no one cares
Cancer kills three 
My Sister, Lee Anne
  Father and Aunt
All in the same year!
All in the same month! 
  I hate August!
I am old
Old and beaten
I am done
Life is done 
There sets the sun
    ...but, my kids still need me

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