Origin
I tied a hangman's noose
Within the womb
Around my neck was slung
And from those gallows swung.
I was six days late
The pressure wouldn’t abate
I’ve always been
Afraid of change.
I came out looking blue
Foreshadowing how I’d feel
Writing this at all.
I was timid, I was quiet,
Sleeping days away.
Always compliant
Never outspoken.
Obedient, a good kid
They’d say.
Now looking back as a man
With fissures throughout my heart
I think it’s not that simple.
Never outspoken sure,
For every strongly expressed opinion
Was shouted, and frightened
This gentle child into quietness.
So I grew with roots reluctant
To claim soil another may one day want,
Older brothers younger sister
More abrasive than I.
I like tile they like sandpaper,
Every attempt to rough me up
Only made me smoother.
One day I was called to manhood
By nothing but necessity.
At an age that couldn’t be expected
To swing a hammer well.
Hell I couldn’t even swing a decision yet.
How could I possibly step into shoes
Strangely unworn before
And with strength strike
The nail on the head.
I filled those shoes in time
Sometimes feeling room still
By my big toe.
I swung a decision,
I’d be the man I wanted to be
To be different than the example.
A timid trailblazer still covers ground,
A kite broken free may crash,
Or fly higher than ever imagined.
The world needs good men
I’ll fill that need or die trying,
She needed me to be more,
My soul began
To grow chest hair.
So that’s where I’m from
There’s my past laid out.
My future?
Well that’s up to me isn’t it.
Copyright © Vaughan Wesley | Year Posted 2018
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