Onus

Saddled with this task burden beast of razor colour scheme years of crumbled paint the dust in lungs a poisoned dream still clinging holding breath to clear the air between the stitches of a seam

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Patricia Cresswell

Date: 9/1/2017 8:17:00 AM

I have not been able to figure it out as yet. One thing is sure it has made me darn uncomfortable to read this poem Sosomewhere inside me it is jangling. Be back to read again.

Dominic Amezimi

Date: 5/8/2017 4:39:00 PM

I was lost at first, but the moment i figured the poem, a lot of work was done to hold one overly forward teardrop back. Keep writing these short 'books'. Cheers M!

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 5/8/2017 5:35:00 PM

Aye, and a teardrop near produced as I read your generous comment, a lump in my throat; thank you dear D. xomo!

Darren White

Date: 4/26/2017 12:30:00 AM

Ma mo, this reads like a painting! You can read in it what you like, but in the end it's not a pleasant picture that it paints in my mind

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 4/26/2017 6:19:00 AM

Thanks Darren :) i'm glad the feeling is conveyed. It stems from the relationship with my mother, trying to rectify it in the end, she was a seamstress...

Emile Pinet

Date: 4/24/2017 5:30:00 PM

I felt the words as well as read them and they are powerful, Great Job! Emile.

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 4/25/2017 6:26:00 AM

Thank you Emile :) have a wonderful day! xomo

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 4/4/2017 8:15:00 AM

i'm not always a fan of short pieces, but when they're written like this...i would love to see something like this in a contest of mine (hint hint lol)...and thank you for commenting on my work

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 4/4/2017 10:50:00 AM

Why Thank You Charlotte! Will keep a look out... ;) xomo!

Laura Leiser

Date: 4/3/2017 11:05:00 PM

Very creative expressions of angst is a few well chosen words, Maureen. I really liked this one. :)

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 4/4/2017 7:00:00 AM

Poets do do melodramatics best :) thanks Laura! :)

Chris Green

Date: 4/3/2017 5:24:00 PM

Very abstract and deep Maureen. This is a tense piece expressing angst at a situation that seems ongoing. Nicely done my friend.

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 4/4/2017 6:59:00 AM

Thank you Chris :)