One Pill Away From Away

One Pill Away From Away Depressed... If this poem could be that one word it would. I suffered from wanting to be and not wanted to be with she, that beautiful woman whom I proposed to on one knee that was supposed to be my wife. Daughters...three, I knew in the beginning that accepting her I would have to accept who she became to be. So after many many years of us I just wanted to be free From our 2 and a half year Relation - Friendship - Dating Sometimey - complicated What the hell is going on with us!? I, love my music but I, Love my woman but she, Doesn't love hip hop and I, Can't lose my friends and she, Could care less about the personal passions I pursue paving the way patiently day in and out making things happen from my 9 to 5 pay plus planning days with her missing events feeling as if I'm in a pull and pull situationship. Depressed... If this poem could be that one word it would. I knew one sleeping pill wouldn't be enough, so I tried three. I just wanted to be away from this reality. Actually, mixing the pills with wine left me buzzed and afraid. I was becoming that guy who I said I would never be. A now half empty glass of wine and I popped 6 more, and maybe a half bottle of Nyquil would help me rest. I now laid in my tub preparing for my watery death. But there was no last breath. Somehow I woke up and walked slowly to by bed, and slept, and dreamed, and wept. Depressed... ...and now I look back and I'm disgusted with my selfish self, but that situationship I had long left once everything went left. I'm thankful for being here and for the piece of mind that I have left. I was one pill away.....from away. Written on 12/8/2015 @ 7:38am EST