Notes About The Poem

Image result for pictures of an old man asleep in country home by a fire

One Old Man

One old man slouched down with his worn bent-brimmed hat Wrinkled face covered, asleep in reverie Comfortable in his enclosed habitat Across his boney chest, hands so leathery Body now bone, shriveled, which once stored-up fat In his daydreams and REM dreams a treasury Memories of those youthful accomplishments Carry him on to future's astonishments
Date: 9/23/2022 Contest: Ottava Rima Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins Checked with syllablecounter.net Checked with Grammar Checker on soup
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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Seeker Avatar
October 6, 2022 at 6:15 PM
Oh wow! Age has diminished not, his vibrant aliveness! Superb write, Sara. Congrats on your win!
Agustin Avatar
October 4, 2022 at 4:28 AM
Congrats! Thanks for sharing this... a vivid presentation ... exposed by your awesome poetic style. God bless you.
Kendrick Avatar
October 4, 2022 at 6:50 AM
Beata, Thanks for dropping by with congratulations. I need all the blessings I can get to just get by each day. Sara
George Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 8:41 AM
Live portrait of a withering old man ! Congratulations on your win Sara.
Kendrick Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 1:24 PM
Thank you, Valsa. I am glad you see it as a portrait. Sara
Fowler Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 7:25 AM
Back with big congratulations on your win Sara! Linda
Kendrick Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 1:23 PM
Thank you, Linda. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by again. Sara
Ashley Avatar
October 2, 2022 at 6:32 PM
Dear Sara, such a moving and intimate portrayal of “one old man”. Beautifully composed with vivid and emotive imagery. Congratulations for your excellent win in Milt’s contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Kendrick Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 1:23 PM
Why, thank you, Susan. I appreciate the kind review. Sara
Canerdy Avatar
October 2, 2022 at 11:34 AM
Very touching piece, Sara. CONGRATS on your win. Janice
Kendrick Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 1:22 PM
I appreciate the visit with congratulations. Sara
Hankins Avatar
October 2, 2022 at 10:26 AM
Congratulations, Sara, on your placement in my Ottava Rima contest. I really enjoyed your poem, so descriptive, so well-written. Nice work!
Kendrick Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 1:21 PM
Thank you, Milton for stopping by with congratulations and let me know that I placed. Sara
Fowler Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 11:54 AM
Gotta love this old guy Sara. As they say, Growing old ain't for sissies! Linda
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 12:50 PM
Linda, I totally agree that we have to be strong to keep on keeping on. Thanks for the visits. Sara
Rodrigues Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 11:44 AM
He carries that young man inside though his body is spent. Good one, Sara!
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 12:50 PM
Kim, Yes, he does. Thank you for the nice review. We all carry our youth plus other aspects of our life within us. Sara
Poet Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 7:51 AM
Sara, you have captured an accurate resemblance of an elderly man in this painting. The effects of age are undeniable, but they also bring about important shifts in mindset.
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 8:35 AM
Lasaad, From our point of view, we see that we have to change and desire for it to be for the best so that what is left of life will be even better than the first part. Thank you for your visit and encouraging review of my work. Sara
Pandit Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 5:08 AM
This portrait of an old man is true to life, Sara. Aging does take its toll and offers life changing perspective.
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 6:03 AM
Vijay, How well I know aging takes its toll and add COVID even a somewhat mild case and the aging accelerates. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a kind review of my work. Sara
Summers Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 3:59 PM
Wonderful poem, I like the imagery and the way you played “daydreams” and “REM” off of each other. A great character study of old age. Another one for my favorites list. John
Kendrick Avatar
September 24, 2022 at 3:21 AM
J, I am honored that you would fav this one. Thanks for stopping by, reading my work and taking time to comment. Sara
Tor Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 11:51 AM
Love this Poem from you Sara. Your description of the old man and his life and future were cleverly thought out and create special sentiments within the reader. Be blessed...
Kendrick Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 12:33 PM
Why, thank you, Michael. I appreciate the blessings. Your kind review is encouraging. Sara
Cunningham Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 10:14 AM
Sadly it's the path we all eventually take Sara. Best of luck in the contest. Hope alls OK with you and the family. Tom
Kendrick Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 12:32 PM
Tom, Our son is home from the hospital. As far as I know he is doing fine. He has someone staying with him and health care is coming some. Thanks for dropping by and your hopes for us. Sara
Buhagiar Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 8:51 AM
Alas we have to get old and die. Great picture of an old man.
Kendrick Avatar
September 23, 2022 at 12:31 PM
Victor, My mother-in-law used to say go measure those graves in the cemetery. Meaning that some die young, but mostly people live life through all the stages and die at a ripe old age. I appreciate you dropping by. Your support by reading my works is uplifting. Sara
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