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Notes About The Poem

One Old Man

One old man slouched down with his worn bent-brimmed hat
Wrinkled face covered, asleep in reverie
Comfortable in his enclosed habitat
Across his boney chest, hands so leathery
Body now bone, shriveled, which once stored-up fat
In his daydreams and REM dreams a treasury
Memories of those youthful accomplishments
Carry him on to future's astonishments   

Date: 9/23/2022
Contest: Ottava Rima
Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins

Checked with syllablecounter.net
Checked with Grammar Checker on soup

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Unseeking Seeker Date: 10/6/2022 6:15:00 PM Oh wow! Age has diminished not, his vibrant aliveness! Superb write, Sara. Congrats on your win! Login to Reply

Beata Agustin Date: 10/4/2022 4:28:00 AM Congrats! Thanks for sharing this... a vivid presentation ... exposed by your awesome poetic style. God bless you. Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/4/2022 6:50:00 AM Beata, Thanks for dropping by with congratulations. I need all the blessings I can get to just get by each day. Sara

Valsa George Date: 10/3/2022 8:41:00 AM Live portrait of a withering old man ! Congratulations on your win Sara. Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/3/2022 1:24:00 PM Thank you, Valsa. I am glad you see it as a portrait. Sara

Linda Alice Fowler Date: 10/3/2022 7:25:00 AM Back with big congratulations on your win Sara! Linda Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/3/2022 1:23:00 PM Thank you, Linda. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by again. Sara

Susan Ashley Date: 10/2/2022 6:32:00 PM Dear Sara, such a moving and intimate portrayal of “one old man”. Beautifully composed with vivid and emotive imagery. Congratulations for your excellent win in Milt’s contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/3/2022 1:23:00 PM Why, thank you, Susan. I appreciate the kind review. Sara

Janice Canerdy Date: 10/2/2022 11:34:00 AM Very touching piece, Sara. CONGRATS on your win. Janice Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/3/2022 1:22:00 PM I appreciate the visit with congratulations. Sara

L Milton Hankins Date: 10/2/2022 10:26:00 AM Congratulations, Sara, on your placement in my Ottava Rima contest. I really enjoyed your poem, so descriptive, so well-written. Nice work! Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 10/3/2022 1:21:00 PM Thank you, Milton for stopping by with congratulations and let me know that I placed. Sara

Linda Alice Fowler Date: 9/24/2022 11:54:00 AM Gotta love this old guy Sara. As they say, Growing old ain't for sissies! Linda Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/24/2022 12:50:00 PM Linda, I totally agree that we have to be strong to keep on keeping on. Thanks for the visits. Sara

Kim Rodrigues Date: 9/24/2022 11:44:00 AM He carries that young man inside though his body is spent. Good one, Sara! Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/24/2022 12:50:00 PM Kim, Yes, he does. Thank you for the nice review. We all carry our youth plus other aspects of our life within us. Sara

Sotto Poet Date: 9/24/2022 7:51:00 AM Sara, you have captured an accurate resemblance of an elderly man in this painting. The effects of age are undeniable, but they also bring about important shifts in mindset. Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/24/2022 8:35:00 AM Lasaad, From our point of view, we see that we have to change and desire for it to be for the best so that what is left of life will be even better than the first part. Thank you for your visit and encouraging review of my work. Sara

Vijay Pandit Date: 9/24/2022 5:08:00 AM This portrait of an old man is true to life, Sara. Aging does take its toll and offers life changing perspective. Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/24/2022 6:03:00 AM Vijay, How well I know aging takes its toll and add COVID even a somewhat mild case and the aging accelerates. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a kind review of my work. Sara

J. Summers Date: 9/23/2022 3:59:00 PM Wonderful poem, I like the imagery and the way you played “daydreams” and “REM” off of each other. A great character study of old age. Another one for my favorites list. John Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/24/2022 3:21:00 AM J, I am honored that you would fav this one. Thanks for stopping by, reading my work and taking time to comment. Sara

Michael Tor Date: 9/23/2022 11:51:00 AM Love this Poem from you Sara. Your description of the old man and his life and future were cleverly thought out and create special sentiments within the reader. Be blessed... Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/23/2022 12:33:00 PM Why, thank you, Michael. I appreciate the blessings. Your kind review is encouraging. Sara

Tom Cunningham Date: 9/23/2022 10:14:00 AM Sadly it's the path we all eventually take Sara. Best of luck in the contest. Hope alls OK with you and the family. Tom Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/23/2022 12:32:00 PM Tom, Our son is home from the hospital. As far as I know he is doing fine. He has someone staying with him and health care is coming some. Thanks for dropping by and your hopes for us. Sara

Victor Buhagiar Date: 9/23/2022 8:51:00 AM Alas we have to get old and die. Great picture of an old man. Login to Reply Sara Kendrick Date: 9/23/2022 12:31:00 PM Victor, My mother-in-law used to say go measure those graves in the cemetery. Meaning that some die young, but mostly people live life through all the stages and die at a ripe old age. I appreciate you dropping by. Your support by reading my works is uplifting. Sara