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One Liners Number 4, Can You Believe It

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain Definitely a sales pitch, the stain is very large Remember half the people you know are below average You're bloody well right, you're still in charge Okay Scottie, now beam down my clothes, not funny Think you can get away with that spacey stuff What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Hmm, methinks that's gonna end up really tough Here's a puzzle, why don't women blink during foreplay? Because they don't really have enough time Ever heard of a blink of an eye... well there you go Anything longer is considered overtime Remember half the people you know are below average Hmm, good point... feel 50% better now The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt Why do psychics ask your name for cryin' out loud Get a new car for your spouse, it'll be a really great trade Hmm, some of my best friends are wives More impressive when others discover your good qualities Without your help... than having to resort to lies Jitter bugs are hard to get rid of, but I've got a solution Stop playing that damn boogie-woogie stuff Time is the best teacher, too bad it kills all of its students Often thought of putting stuff in her **** Those of you that believe in telekinesis, raise my hand So you in the back, best you go to the loo Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them Maybe the army should be a little less true If a mechanic tells you he can't fix your brakes So he made your horn louder and how A man was in a car accident, made his left side paralyzed After examining doc said, he'll be all right now

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Book: Reflection on the Important Things