One Autumn Night

I’m sitting alone in this damp street No one but me and the moonbeams Stars are shyly showing off their dazzling charm The wind is passionately touching the tree’s silhouette I'm silently watching them dancing to my mute melancholy My volcano is strangely so wise tonight My earthquake is finally constant My tsunami is completely dry No damaged fantasy No query for a smashed memory October’s moon is so plump No more you within its sheen I know, it’s a temporary truce Between hate and love I know I’ll crave you by noon Yes I'm in the loop But at this point, I'm over my love disaster I'm missing you right now but I don’t lust for you Obviously I'm thinking about you But at this moment I don’t wanna behold you You who carelessly watched me making out with sadness And proudly locked me in the cage of loneliness You who promised to keep me warm inside your chest You who ghosted me with a cheap finesse Instead of painting the vibrant amber, yellows, and reds of our 4th autumn I'm writing the end of our finis chapter Darling, I'm not hating you But I'm not forgiving myself for loving you For sending all my starry prayers only to you For forgetting myself just to remember you For sucking your anxiety just to hearten you For dating the night just to meet you For faking my satisfaction just to delight you For believing the masquerade written by you For cutting off what I needed and gave it to you But I was invisible in your cold fortress Where I thought I’d loose it with the flame of my romance I was thrown away in your wizened forest Where I believed I was your red tulips In the end, I was your first falls leaf that fell from your sick tree And set it free with a grip of an icy wind Tonight, I'm lost on this wet sidewalk Somewhere out of your zone Aloof place where my broken heart was buried I remember, you were my Bethlehem’s star Everything was ridden by your shade And I was a fool for believing that I was your sun Sure, Love was never happy by my side I lied to myself and now I’m paying off the debt Tonight I'm stripping off my soul from its last ill hope Tonight I'm on my knees apologizing to these sparkly creatures For absorbing their spiritual energy In order to protect who left me murdered By the ghost of him Who’s still dwelling within me Tonight I'm dimming between these moving clouds Losing myself to this wistful breeze Weaving my torn spirit with hued autumnal notes Before waking up from this dream And back to beg my heart to stop begging you Tomorrow I’ll fall again, break down again, and get rejected again But tonight I'm giving up on my life This life called ‘YOU’…