Once More I Failed the Truth
Once more, I failed the truth.
The truth of this life, of my life
The path, the journey
The whole purpose of me being here.
I became to complaisant,
Too sure of myself
I thought that I was invincible to the
Petty misgivings of this life
But I was so wrong.
I didn’t even see it coming,
To be completely honest
Blindsided by the tiniest speck of self doubt.
A minute amount of unsurety that snowballed
Into what you see before you now.
I thought for sure that I had broken the cycle
That has held on for lifetimes and has brought
About my demise time after time
I changed my actions and reactions to the same
Repeated patterns trying to change the outcome
But once again I began the task of my own self sabotage.
Allowing the self limiting beliefs to creep in and settle
Snugly in the crevices and crannies of my own subconscious.
As I sit here, upon the edge of the unknown
I search for reasons not to just jump and end it all
Finally putting an end to this failure I call my life
Because once more I failed my to follow my true path.
I look out into the darkness that has seemed to surround me
It becomes so black that I am not completely sure
If my eyes are open or shut.
I cry out in the darkness as I begin to take that final step
And then I see it…
It is just a small speck of light way off in the distance.
I am not entirely sure that I haven’t imagined it,
A cruel joke played on my eyes by my mind
But the speck becomes clearer,
And I realize that it is getting larger
It seems that it is changing the dark,
Not chasing it away but
Actually transmuting the darkness into the light.
I watch this light show before me
And I begin to understand
My path becomes clear before me,
I now know what I have to do.
Copyright © Mary Taylor | Year Posted 2021
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