Daver Austin | + Follow Poet |
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On the Loss of An Old Friend

Old
Old is a key word
Old friend
Old friend come to the end

End
End is THE word
End of my old friend
End is REALLY the word

At first the news is surprising    shocking
The news is mystifying
My reaction surprising
I can't believe myself!

I can't believe I feel no sorrow -
At first
Can't believe I'm debating what to eat for lunch
Can't even believe I'm hungry

The day wanders on much as usual
Just a thought every hour or two
I do chores    watch television
Retire at the usual time

But then

I lay in bed    thinking
Oh not so much of my old friend - at first -
But thinking on that word become a reaper
The end!

Reminiscing    restless
His voice    just a week before    on the phone
I can hear it clearly
All the sophisticated    lively overtones

Now I can't believe he's gone
Is life really like that?
I'd never thought much about it -
The end

Surprised again
And morbidly
I think only of myself    my age -
MY end

Is life really like that?
I'm thinking of all my old friends now
Friends now gone
Yes!    Shock!    Life ends!

Now a few sick resentments    jealousy comes back
His brilliance for example
Which    it suddenly occurs    makes no difference now
In fact goes on his plus side

And then his age - 14 years younger than myself
I never thought I'd outlive anybody
All those dead friends
I count remaining years

Adding
Subtracting
Weighing countless possibilities
The bed covers becoming cement hard    heavy

His death finally sets in
Finally I'm saddened by death of my old friend
And the great loss lingers
Lingers

All the good times
All the warmth
All the confidences
His death    no doubt will linger    linger

Over time (I'm thinking) his death will
Gradually
Grow softer    fainter
All dissonance forgotten

The warm blanket of memory
Blessedly......
Covering.......
I sleep

Copyright © Daver Austin | Year Posted 2008

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Andrea Dietrich Date: 6/25/2010 6:53:00 PM OH MY, what brilliant writing, Daver. I just loved reading this one. It's so sad and yes, this is how it gets more and more with age. Did you say you were in your 80's now? How is your health there, Dave??? Yes, the first thing in our minds is "when I am next?" And so it should be! I could not beleive when the awesome poetess Sondra Bell died of cancer last year, and three other poets I know, all under age 60. Geeeez it is really sad....... Login to Reply

Gerry Mattia Date: 2/16/2009 3:18:00 PM Hey D. . . I usually go by title to read a piece. . . intrigued by the title on this one. I tried to see if I could email you. . . couldn't (must be me). Did you mean "overtones"? "All the sophisticated lively ovetones" Really tried to find a way to email that. . . Login to Reply

Carrie Richards Date: 1/8/2009 4:33:00 PM I don't know how I missed this earlier, Daver, but I'm almost speechless. There aren't words enough to say how this touched me, how those thoughts seem like my own. This has to be one of the most outstanding poems I've read on Poetry Soup. (really)...almost too real...wow...........Carrie Login to Reply

Barb Farley Date: 1/6/2009 4:21:00 PM This is awesome! And painful. Login to Reply

Vince Suzadail Jr. Date: 1/3/2009 10:35:00 AM Excellent write. Just found out I lost one of my closest friends in school. Hadn't seen him in years and now he's gone. Hopefully some day we'll do it again. God Bless. Vince Login to Reply

Donna Golden Date: 1/2/2009 4:32:00 PM Wonderful piece, Daver; so eloquent! This definitely strikes a chord with me. Donna G. Login to Reply

Michael Jordan Date: 12/30/2008 7:56:00 PM Daver this poem is a great reflection of your friend and the way it is written is amazing - God Bless, MJ Login to Reply

Denis Joe Date: 12/30/2008 5:42:00 AM There is a lot of emotion in this but it is very controlled and presents the reader with an excellent portrait both of a person and a feeling of loss. I like the way that the first two stanzas prepare the narrative and they seem like poems on their own and yet intrinsic to this poem. there is a great flow to the narrative which never threatens to become maudlin. one of the job of the poet (or artist) is to present experience to the audience, objectively. This is the case here. Login to Reply

Sharon Winter Date: 12/29/2008 9:48:00 AM I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. Such an honest and amazingly brilliant write. Deeply emotional, you have captured what many of us have experienced, and expressed it, well, almost too well if that is possible. I am reliving loss here, and once again, my deepest sympathies are with you. Sending love and hugs, wishing you comfort and peace. Love, Shar Login to Reply

Kristin Reynolds Date: 12/29/2008 6:17:00 AM Wow. Daver, this is absolutly brillaint. BRILLIANT. One of your very best - all of the nuances within this write, the tone; word placement; space placement; impact of each line is perfect! I teared up reading this, as it reflects someone everyone has lost, and you went through the satges of acceptance here, as well...it is so hard for those left behind - but there is no end. :) Never, only beginnings. :) Love this so much, it hurt, love Kristin and Daver, I'm so sorry for your loss. Login to Reply