On the Edge

Breath in Breath out 
Breath in and Breath out
What have I done 
What could have cause it 
How did I end up here
How did I go from the life of a millionaire 
With endless resources and power
To cleaning out garbage cans on 5th Ave
Fast cars good food to holes in shoes and rotation
Having the love of my to losing her in a blink of an eye
From holding her one day to rubbing her hand next to the hospital 
The warmth of her lying on my chest to the cold isolated casket 
I still have money but why do I choose to live this way
What has but me on the edge of ending my life
As walking this fine line of life and death
What has keep me in this endless state of mind 
What gives me hope to continue on   
Buy flowers and put it at her feet and go on with the day
Alcohol and drugs won’t be able to fill the void I feel 
From the kiss of her lips I miss 
The smile when I wake up in the morning
The smell I come from the bathroom
The dance of elegant that we have had in the morning air
What has put me on this edge
I sit there under the trees thinking what put me here on this edge
It has been a year since I seen her
I feel her when I am asleep 
I hear her in my ear
I smell her still on my clothes
Each breeze that comes over my face warms my heart
Will I ever come out of the grievance
Return to the place we live final after a year as if we left it 
Clean up and put on the necklace that reminds me of you 
Return to the grave super glue it to your grave 
Now I need to return back to the life that I have created for us 
Because I know in this heart where you lie forever
That you would not want me on the edge of life 
Keeping me from walking this fine line of life and death
And I have chosen life or death
Happiness over turmoil 
Light then darkness
And I see the life at the end of the tunnel 
And that light is and always will be you

Copyright © Charlston Manning | Year Posted 2009

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