Home » Poems » Kim Rodrigues » On the Edge

On the Edge

Broad moon rapidly drops six feet out of view.
A shadow casts on stodgy, trickling of creek.
Sharply, a face breaks ground, above plot’s subdue.
The late dead stars fall on waters, dammed and weak.
Decrepit spine, of long ago’s sound, breaks through.
A lonely girl, on the edge, heeds gusty shriek.
Bleak darkness clings to flesh, then sudden bright’ning.
Bad news - apparition’s hurling lightning.

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Paige Hind

Date: 6/11/2024 3:08:00 PM

This almost made me cry- such deep emotion- just because of your age, doesn't mean you feel less- "decrepit spine"- "plot's subdue"...powerful poetry...I thought the first line was genius, too- hugs <3

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/11/2024 4:53:00 PM

Thank you, Paige!

Duke Beaufort

Date: 6/10/2024 5:00:00 PM

Kim, this is making me smile. Although a bit scary, it might just be a feeling we get outside that makes us very uncomfortable. That happens from time to time no matter whether I tell myself to think rationally or not.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/11/2024 4:54:00 PM

Glad it made you smile! I agree with your thoughts.

Evelyn Judy Buehler

Date: 6/9/2024 5:27:00 PM

This poem is so scary and fun, Kim. I really liked the first and last lines. Beautifully composed.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/10/2024 6:22:00 AM

Thank you, Evelyn! So glad you liked it. xx

Joseph May

Date: 6/9/2024 4:52:00 AM

A ghostly verse of moon and shadows, Very nicely penned

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/9/2024 5:01:00 AM

Thank you, Joe!

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 6/8/2024 9:08:00 PM

I liked this adventuresome poem. The tension that builds from the beginning give me a sense dangers to come. All is realized at the last line. I enjoyed the style and complexity of your poem. An enjoyable read.

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/9/2024 5:02:00 AM

Thank you, Hilda! I appreciate your critique :) Blessings!

Silent One

Date: 6/8/2024 10:02:00 AM

I need to do this form for the contest.. Bt I have no idea what to write about.. This one is nicely done.. I can feel the emotions in it..

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/8/2024 11:27:00 AM

Thank you! This form is not easy. You are right…what to write about. Can’t wait to see what you come up with, my friend!

Ink Empress

Date: 6/8/2024 8:48:00 AM

Dear kim, i love this, its so deeply moving and poignant with such creative imagery as well as seamlessly flowing alliterations! I especially love the line “ The late dead stars fall on waters, dammed and weak.” Wow i wish i came up with that line! So good. Pleasure reading this heartfelt poem. I felt this

Kim Rodrigues
Date: 6/8/2024 9:46:00 AM

Thank very much! I worked hard on it over the past couple of days. Hugs ~ Kim