On Rock, Paper and Scissors

i refuse to believe that paper could ever beat rock--- there are those (in fact you may be one) that swear by this game of chance to make decisions ranging from the choice of restaurant to have dinner at to the name of their child (if you don’t believe me---please explain to me how it is that in the 21st century there are 5 year old boys walking around with the name “Rex,” and little girls named “Bertha”), and being that they swear by this game, they swear allegiance to that sheet of paper which they know deep down in their heart of hearts could never ever win in a fight against rock. a rock is part of the lithosphere--- that is, the outer layer of the earth, which is comprised of minerals & is separated into 3 categories--- igneous sedimentary & metamorphic--- long story short, “for more than 2 million years, humans and other hominids” to build dwellings, tools, etc. paper, is a “thin material mainly used for writing upon.” if one believes in the power of paper over rock, they should ask themselves some questions--- have you ever started a fire with a rock? have you ever torn a rock in half? ever come across a “rock shredder,” as you most assuredly have at least heard about a paper shredder in your time? should we continue? believers in paper over rock will say “paper beats rock by covering it” really? if you throw a blanket over a snarling tiger, will it defeat the tiger? if you wear a raincoat in a london downpour, is it an absolute fact that you will remain completely dry? stop this charade, paper lovers! as of your reading of this poem, the game “rock, paper, scissors,” is officially being changed to “tiger, paper, scissors”--- maybe now you will understand that paper can’t do anything, when confronted with such worthy adversaries as rock & paper. this game should be banned, pure & simple. right now, in some part of the world, a little boy is being beat up and put in a coat closet during recess, because his name is “Rex”--- a little girl named Bertha is being teased for being a likeness of all the negative stereotypes that come with this horribly outdated name--- all in the name of you absurd lovers of paper, believing that it could ever possibly in a million zillion years be a deciding factor in any major decision whatsoever. quit these shenanigans, and come over to the winning team of ROCK!