Old and New Halloween Poems

No Halloween Candy I can't get no Halloween candy. I can't get no Halloween candy. But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try. I can't get no. I can't get no. Well I'm walking door to door. And a man comes out to greet me. But he's telling me there's no more. So he says he likes my outfit. What he really means is "beat it!". I can't get no. No no no. Hey hey hey. That's what I say. I can't get no trick-or-treat candy. I can't get no trick-or-treat candy. But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try. I can't get no. I can't get no. So I'm dressed up like a zombie. Saying "trick or treat" and "thankyou ma'am". Still my pillow case is empty. It took forever to put on this get-up; Spent two hours just on make-up. I can't get no. No no no. Hey hey hey. That's what I say. I can't get no Halloween action. I can't get no trick-or-treat action. But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try. I can't get no. I can't get no. Still knockin' on those doors. I'm trickin' this and I'm treatin' that. Just trying to make some scores, But the lady says come back early next year. I'd be better off just bummin' beer. I can't get no. I can't get no. Halloween candy. Trick-or-treet candy. Halloween action. Trick-or-treat action. Satisfaction. Black Carriage Death's dark angel Black carriage drives Collecting lives Final rewards The carriage has Matching horses Pulling courses All of them black Death follows you All of your life Toil and strife Can't escape Him When it's their time They all object There's no respect Everyone dies Thanatos rides The Banshees cry Valkyries fly None of them care Zombie Apocalypse Nature's gone insane; Cannibal cadavers creep. Zombie apocalypse... Cannibal Morticians--A Halloween Poem Nobody looks closely At corpses in a funeral. You usually just see Their faces and hands. Who checks the bodies? Of course it’s assumed The bodies are all there. They are rarely exhumed? During the embalmings, How much gets consumed? Some parts are for science, Or given as replacement organs. Maybe out of defiance To laws and mores, parts are Eaten by one without conscience. If I were to voice my suspicions, I’d ask who handles corpses, Using which institutions? Mortuary workers look well-fed… Are they cannibal morticians? Halloween At The Bates Hotel--revised Halloween at the Bates Hotel The attendant in the Ghostface rig was kinda creepy, When I came in to pay the gas I owed. “Is there a motel nearby? I’m really sleepy.” He pointed down a dark and dreary road. No kids were Trick-or-Treating that Halloween night, Nothing was open. I couldn’t buy nor sell. I could barely see. There wasn’t a single light. Then I saw the sign for the Bates Hotel The clerk in drag, carrying a dripping blade, Said they had a sudden opening; But first he had to get the room remade. “Why don’t you stroll outside, see what’s happening.” Some spaced-out dwarves were shuffling ‘round the mortuary, While a Tall Man looked down from up above. Nearby a big dude in a goalie mask was swinging a machete, Taunting a burned guy wearing a freaky glove. Another dude was gardening, cutting something at night, Sporting a leather mask and a gas chainsaw. But a walking-talking Good Guy doll gave me the biggest fright-- He was probably the weirdest thing I saw. I decided to head back; this town gave me the ‘willies’. A big shape and a clown grabbed me outside the Bates Hotel! “I’m Mike Myers, and my friend’s name’s Penny. We’ve come to convey you back to Hell.” Monsters Someone's at my door Late night wearing a clown mask. It's not Halloween! Scary Moments Something’s lurking in the shadows. Something’s hiding in the dark. Something’s out there by my window, so why doesn’t Fido bark? Something out there wants to get me! I am losing my sang-froid. Something wants to disappear me. I’m not being paranoid! I used to have a neighbor woman--We cannot find her anywhere. When I called for some patrolmen. They did not show ‘cause they don’t dare! Something outside isn’t human-- or at least not anymore. A cannibal or psycho axeman, or just a clown covered with gore. I’ve got the willies something fierce. Those shivers just won’t go away. I’m not ready for the hearse. Too scared to run…too scared to stay. Someone’s walked over my tomb, or given me the evil eye. Something’s out there in costume--Trick or treat, it’s time to die! Something’s out there by my window, so why doesn’t Fido bark? Something’s lurking in the shadows. Something’s waiting in the dark.