Notes About The Poem

For Andrea Dietrich's Swap it poetry contest.

One new Swap Quatrain poem - THREE TO FIVE quatrains. No less, no more.  The Swap Quatrain was created by Lorraine M. Kanter. It's a favorite of mine. Within each quatrain, the first line is reversed in the fourth line. In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1 and line 3 must rhyme with line four. You must not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent stanzas. AABB, CCDD, EEFF, etc. I will put a link to one of my own Swap Quatrains for you to view if you are not familiar with this form. also I hightly suggest using eight syllables per line so that you can easily swap line 1 by using its first four syllables as the last four syllables of line 4. I have not seen this form of poetry with more than 8-syllable lines.

 

 

Oh Cruel Fate


Tepid rain drips upon flowers.
June feels cold with all these showers.
Sunset descends, as twilight dips.
Upon flowers, tepid rain drips.

I feel afraid, numb from the cold.
It feels like summer is on hold.
As thunder and lightning cascade,
numb from the cold, I feel afraid.

Ears crave to hear her soothing tone.
She's the queen to my kingdom's throne.
In her embrace, heart has no fear.
Her soothing tone, ears crave to hear.

Just like the moon, glowing at night,
in darkness her love provides light.
In bright shades we form a festoon,
glowing at night just like the moon.

Oh cruel fate, gift me a glance,
her lips have left me in a trance.
I feel blind without my soulmate.
Gift me a glance, oh cruel fate.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Canerdy Avatar
July 2, 2024 at 3:14 PM
S. O., I'm back to say CONGRATS on your well-deserved win! Janice
Dietrich Avatar
July 1, 2024 at 9:21 AM
Loved the flow and deep meaning of this one , S O. The ending really pulled it all together. Congrats on your win
May Avatar
July 1, 2024 at 5:51 AM
Congrats on your win Silent, Very nicely done
Jones Avatar
June 23, 2024 at 1:16 PM
This is charming you mastered the form! Well done SO!
velasquez Avatar
June 22, 2024 at 6:25 PM
I enjoyed this. thank you
George Avatar
June 22, 2024 at 6:30 AM
Maybe fate would take the plea. I feel the same way about the cold. In short, it has held me bound for far too many weeks. It brings new visitors when the old ones leave. " I feel afraid, numb from the cold. It feels like summer is on hold. As thunder and lightning cascade, numb from the cold, I feel afraid." My theme for summer.
Williams Avatar
June 22, 2024 at 5:19 AM
I love what you have created here. A soulful inspiring poem straight from the heart. Good luck in the contest S1...Hugs
Edmonds  Avatar
June 21, 2024 at 6:48 AM
Perfection in a Swap Quatrain Silent One, content and rhyme, sublime… Beryl
Beaufort Avatar
June 21, 2024 at 6:25 AM
SO, your poetic abilities and imagination have me sitting here in awe. Really well made this is. You are a teacher, architect, engineer, and all around wonderful poet to create such a masterpiece!!! Thanks so much for the intro explanation as well. Makes it easy for the rest of us!!!!
Brotherton Avatar
June 20, 2024 at 5:27 AM
Your talent is astounding, my friend. A brilliant poem indeed.
Gentile Avatar
June 20, 2024 at 5:22 AM
You crafted this so beautifully Silent One! My meager musings want to try this! 'Gift me a glance" my favorite take from this as an earnest and eager plea to release your yearnings! So well done! Happy Thursday!!!
Canerdy Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Well done. Janice
Rodrigues Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 4:47 PM
Lovely wording! tepid rain, twilight dips, and the unexpected “festoon.” Great poetry, dear one!
Kendrick Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 2:34 PM
Ahh!! I hope that glance happens soon. Thanks for sharing your contest entry with us. It reads like a good contender to me. Way to go. Your visit to my page was uplifting. Sara K
Hind Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 1:57 PM
Wow, you did great with this...flowed beautifully,
Empress Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 1:52 PM
Oh silent one, do you ever make anything sound bad when written from your heart? How beautiful is this! I think andrea will love it as it has a very rhythmic flow and the romantic nature of your poem truly would be impressive for her I think, as it is also for me. I love the way youv rhymes and also your lines jusg flow seamlessly! Its like this was easy for you, as for me it was a challenging one! I love the descriptive manner youv delivered this and also how you’ve made it sound so heartfelt, and soulfully meaningful! Awwn! Fate, how cruel can it be at times. Beautiful! Best wishes for the contest! You nailed it
Bartley Avatar
June 19, 2024 at 1:52 PM
Tight poem.
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