oh and shes spiraling again

somedays its crushing life. somedays its all i can do to smile to pull a breath into my shaky lungs and still my hands against the tremors of my legs i want to press pause. or press stop. for good. everything aches, from my head to my chest to my knees to my back to my wrists to my eyes- stop stop stop stop please stop stop im done im tired im done im tired (and i think ive said this before i think ive said this before i-) im breathing. i swear im exhaling. i swear im trying. i sweariswearisweari- im remembering now, the days when pulling air into these lungs wasnt so difficult when laughing freely was mere assignment when smiling openly wasnt so tedious and hugging didnt make me want to dance my way off a cliff of my own thoughts but now id very much like to crawl out of my skin into your veins and feel something other than my freezing blood and trembing hands and tired eyes because of one too many all nighters because of my shallow breathing and foggy thoughts could you find it in you to fix this?