Of All I Have Lost

Of all the things that I have lost
Perhaps what hurts the most
Is that I can no longer go
to where I once called home...

I cannot roam with childish glee
Down through the leafy grove
Nor play with snowballs, dance in snow
Then thaw beside the stove

I cannot use pink muhlberries
To paint my childish lips
I cannot eat the greens I've picked
Right down to soily tip

I cannot brown my little legs
Beneath the blazing sun
Or slpash in cold and icy pool
Until the day is done

I cannot play my hide and seek
With gateman's little kids
Nor drink the flavored Persian tea
Chase dreams through drooping lids

I cannot rub the walnut skins
And stain my fingers black
I cannot gorge on cherries sweet
I can't bring one day back

I cannot pick blubell flowers
Or swing from walnut tree
I cannot gorge on luscious fruit
Those mountains, I can't see

I cannot run through fresh green grass
Nor bask on asphlat walk
I cannot run through classroom halls
Or relish childish talk

I cannot show off gardened home
To foreigners and say,
"This place is really paradise
That none can steal away"...

I had a dream last night that I was back in my childhood home in Tehran, Iran. We lived in a walled, gated compoud that was the property of our church. My father was a school principal and the administration building and dorms were on our campus. We were situated in Shemran, at the foot of the ELBRUS mountain range. The compund was green.....beautiful. We'd swim in the icy cold pool then lie on asphalted walks to warm up. We had a cherry orchard, walnut, apple, apricot, plum, muhlberry, and almond trees. It would snow in winter, and My brothers would jump off the roof of our house into the snow. I can't describe the ache in my heart at not being able to go back. It was an enchanting childhood and no one can steal my memories. After the revolution in 1979, the government took over the property....but they can't take My dreams. I've shared this....painstakingly written on my phone because my dream was so vivid. I needed to share...
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

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Lamoureux Avatar
January 31, 2017 at 11:28 PM
This is so sad and beautiful. As long as you hold the memory in your heart you can go back any time you choose. Hugs Rick.
Daniel Avatar
January 31, 2017 at 8:27 AM
Oh! These are beautiful memories that left me profoundly sad, Eileen:( sometimes God allows such things in our life so that we may grow stronger in Him:) Maybe it was these dreams and aches that have made you the beautiful person you are:):) a 7:)
White Avatar
January 30, 2017 at 11:40 PM
This leaves me speechless Eileen... It's incredibly good and painful in equal quantities. And I can relate so much, ours may perhaps be different backgrounds and reasons, the pain and longing and feelings of loss are the same. Art said something moving which I agree on: what we have left is fly kites. Let's do that, fly kites, beautiful coloured words that speak for us. 7 and fav.
O.J. Hunt Avatar
January 30, 2017 at 8:47 PM
This is one of warmest, most heartfelt poems I've ever read; I was deeply moved and can only hope such a heart as yours has found solace in her new life. God bless Eileen, and may the heavens shine on thee!
Bacha Avatar
January 29, 2017 at 2:55 PM
Oh my God Eileen, your poem is so so beautiful, yet so so sad, it reminds me of my own past when i had to leave Lebanon to Montreal due to the war. Today I am living in SF the US with my boys. I think u are living in Lebanon. You are a great writer, i have been away for ages, maybe will try and come back. Much thoughts Terry xoxo
Vaso Avatar
January 28, 2017 at 10:48 PM
you know what I am gonna do right? Wow Wow Wow!!!! Loved this, and also I love the notes of explanation. I will say, sometimes all we have left is to fly kites!
Dietrich Avatar
January 28, 2017 at 6:51 PM
wow, Eileen. This may be my VERY favorite of all your poems. A BIG seven and a FAVE
Smith Avatar
January 28, 2017 at 1:57 PM
I hope you feel safe and at ease where you live now and are building fond memories to treasure, a beautiful write Eileen...
Smith Avatar
January 27, 2017 at 11:40 AM
It seems as if so much has changed in a brief period of time. The innocence of childhood is lost.
Turner Avatar
January 27, 2017 at 8:00 AM
Eileen, if if you were to go back, it most likely would not be as you remember. The sands of time have a way of changing things. Sad write.
Andresen Avatar
January 27, 2017 at 2:20 AM
- A very sad poem, Eileen - But your precious memories ... nobody can destroy or steal ... - Wishing you a great day and a lovely weekend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Herlihy Avatar
January 27, 2017 at 12:24 AM
A melancholic remembrance that is oh so sweet. Beautifully written. JH
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