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Odyssey

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January.7.2024
'Oasis, OBlivion, Odyssey' Words Poetry Competition
Sponsor- Constance La Freance
~ Placed First~

 

"Human mind knows no constraints. Without spending time or money, one can make an odyssey into the outer space and even into other planets. What is needed is the fuel of imagination." - By Poet
Outside, the night was gathering strength How swift our lightning Sputnik, Out running the speed of sound and light Shot into space with a violent jerk, leaving us psychotic. At a distance were luminous spheres Suspended like glowing lanterns Comets and meteors in hyper space Seemed more like diffused patterns An asteroid came whizzing towards us. I closed my eyes in dreadful shock, Fearing a terrible head on collision. Thank God! It deviated from our track! I looked at my friend seated beside Obviously not here, lost in thought! Looking down, I saw Mother Earth A luminous ball, not bigger than a sapphire dot Oh! How quickly we landed on Mars It is so different from what I had learnt Neither a barren belt of sterile terrain Nor a rugged stretch of craters burnt But a heavenly place so cool and serene Full of scintillating scenes and ravishing sights We, the emissaries from a far away land Were warmly received by a team of alien sprites The weight of the world suddenly lifted from us We bounced up and down almost floating in the air Found ourselves in a gorgeous garden With springing fountains and blossoms fair Trees were laden with dazzling gems Lagoons and lakes of liquid silver Vast expanse of tawny vistas Plains waving with luxuriant verdure What fun…! Hmm…over there, Nothing like those seen on planet Earth A herd of animals so strange and rare Grazing on red grass in a canyon of great width Our restless eyes scanning all around, We accelerated our pace in rising delight. As we were eager to explore every bit of ground, We moved forward with enthusiastic gait. Sudden was the sound I heard behind And saw my mother standing near Puzzled and confused as I looked around In my ears her voice fell ringing clear- “You lazy one, know this is exam time” Rough and curt was her angry tirade. “Again you can’t play a dumb mime” Her words made my afternoon reverie suddenly fade I saw my open book sneering at me And my uncovered syllabus, a vast sea

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 1/15/2024 6:33:00 AM
- Back with a well-deserved congratulations, Valsa :) - hugs
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Date: 1/14/2024 9:03:00 PM
A vivid illustration of the Odyssey. Belivably imaginary. Congratulations!
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Date: 1/14/2024 4:46:00 PM
Valsa, a wonderfully penned poem and I love the quote too. Congratulations on your win in my contest, well done, Constance
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Date: 1/11/2024 5:01:00 PM
I like your quote, Valsa. I agree with your thought. Your contest poem was an engaging read. I enjoyed traveling through space and time to your (imaginary) place. A curt ending as was needed to end your tale. Good luck in the contest! Smiles ~ Blessings Bill
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Date: 1/8/2024 2:25:00 AM
Your poem is vast and has all the ingredients of what a poem should be. Hugs.
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Date: 1/7/2024 5:53:00 PM
Your imagination interrupted, interpreted as laziness, yet here you are in all poetic musing! Hugs!
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Date: 1/7/2024 10:21:00 AM
Nice daydream poem. Open book tests are always the hardest.
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Date: 1/7/2024 8:53:00 AM
Wow what an amazing daydream. Loved the humor at the end
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Date: 1/7/2024 8:39:00 AM
Impressive work on the poem, Valsa. The combination of vivid imagery and heartfelt emotions creates a captivating piece. Your seamless incorporation of rhyming patterns and the artistic depiction of colors enhance the overall flow of the poem. The way you brought everything back to the present time at the end is truly remarkable. The poem evokes a sense of daydreaming and a longing to explore some distinctive worlds. Best wishes with the contest.
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Date: 1/7/2024 8:33:00 AM
Valsa my friend, your poem skilfully weaves a narrative that seamlessly blends an escape into outer space with the jarring return to reality. The vivid descriptions & imagery create a captivating journey. The opening lines set the stage with a sense of urgency as the night gathers strength, and the mention of the swift Sputnik introduces an element of modernity and technological prowess. The poet cleverly uses the theme of space exploration as a metaphor for escaping the constraints of reality.
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Date: 1/7/2024 4:45:00 AM
- What a creative and wonderful poem, Valsa :) - Best wishes in the contest ... the best I have read for this contest :) - hugs
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Date: 1/6/2024 11:39:00 PM
Woah,this is an outstanding take for 'Odyssey' theme, dear brilliant poetess!!Your magnificence is evident in this write which my my heartbeats race in milliseconds and a desire to explore those unique realms on Mars..Gosh,what an exciting concept too, also, how beautifully you've brought back everything to present time in the end..Defining it as a daydream..This poem is an example of how to maintain a reader's attention and intrigue with a hint of mystery in every line! I must save this in FAVs
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Sharma  Avatar
Hiya Sharma
Date: 1/6/2024 11:46:00 PM
"Trees were laden with dazzling gems Lagoons and lakes of liquid silver", "Comets and meteors in hyper space Seemed more like diffused patterns" Ahh, absolutely amazing artistry you've presented here.. I enjoyed reading this a lot! Sending my best wishes to you, also, love & light ~ :)
Date: 1/6/2024 10:47:00 PM
Ah what an ethereal dream, I absolutely love how you’ve written this and the way you’ve used alliterations and also how you’ve made it flow with such celestial wordplay. I especially love the lines “ Suspended like glowing lanterns Comets and meteors in hyper space“ so descriptive and so magical! “ Lagoons and lakes of liquid silver“ a line that stood out for me! Ah that ending is so cute, how one wakes up to reality, you really have a way with storytelling in a poetic manner! I loved this! FAVE
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Date: 1/6/2024 8:38:00 PM
How often our train of thought gets distracted and we go off on some wild adventures lol. I've been guilty of that many times. Hope your new year is off to a good start Valsa. Tom
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Book: Shattered Sighs