ODE TO THE BALD AND BEAUTIFUL

He primps that dome like it’s his crown, A shiny orb, the talk of town. Shaves that bowling ball twice a day, No rogue hairs dare to stay. Refined olive oil, scentless, slick— His scalp’s own secret, glossy trick. Then Axe spray rains, a scented storm, Because the ladies find that charm. Post-shower, towel wraps so neat, Humidity’s spa for his heat. Pores open wide, like welcome mats, While he admires himself in flats. Mirrors lurk in every nook, Catching every shiny look. Not married yet? “I’m picky,” he grins, Waiting for love to roll right in. On his dresser, a brush sits proud— No bristles live, it’s just a shroud. A hairbrush purely for show, To tease the girls who don’t quite know. No follicles, but full of flair, Hair-care metaphors everywhere. A follicle-free knight of sheen, The baldest king you’ve ever seen.