Ode To Samantha
Mummy’s cat Samantha is as old as can be
Mummy’s cat Samantha doesn’t really like me
She sleeps in dad’s chair, like she’s under a spell
Nothing ever disturbs her, till I give out a yell
You should see her run when I starts up my din
Once they went and found her in an old drum tin
She’s terribly senile, she’s lost all her spring
Mostly she sleeps getting hair on everything
Mummy thinks she marvellous, intelligent and bright
I think she’s a dummy and a real parasite
And when she goes a missing, it’s a real catastrophe
Where’s Sammy? Find Samantha our little Princess
Mummy knows she’s an alley cat but will never confess
And she runs around the house calling everywhere
And stupid old Samantha, doesn’t even care
All she wants is her bickies and juicy rump steak
For me yuckie vegies, of the best SHE partakes
Every day they cut her meat up all tiny and fine
But nobody seems to care about cutting up mine
Poor dear little Samantha, I’m just horrid they say
She not a proper *****, and never wants to play
She never rubs against your legs, or purrs friendly like
I wish I had a dog, like my best friend Mike
She’s so terribly old, and such a big bore
So I’m gonna tell her about China and Singapore
Where they eat cats for dinner, if they don’t act nice
And play with little boys and get rid of the mice
What does she think of as she sleeps in the grate
Probably of Samuel her friend and her mate
How when they were young together they’d stand guard
Hunting all the insects and birdies in our yard
Now those days have gone, so has Samuel her love
Now you cannot budge her, except with a shove
Dear little Samantha as she sits and day dreams
I sneaks up behind her and REAL LOUDLY SCREAMS!
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