Home » Poems » Carolyn Devonshire » Ocean Commotion

Ocean Commotion

wind lifts salty air
scent of the sea fills my hair --
fishing without care

pelican dives fast
shrimp on the hook was my last --
strips the bait I cast

turn with quick motion
see crab stealing sun lotion --
ocean commotion



*Entry for Carol’s Rhyming Haiku contest

natureseahaiku

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Sidney Beck

March 11, 2011 at 12:57 PM

I knowvery little about japanese forms but even I can recognise charm and skill when I see it "scent of the sea fills my hair"....mmmmm I can almost taste it....congrats and well done, Carolyn

Kash Poet

March 11, 2011 at 7:51 AM

Congrats Carolyn on your 1st place win with this beautiful Haiku!---kashinath

Sara Kendrick

March 10, 2011 at 3:49 PM

Congratulations on your win..Sara

George Aul

March 10, 2011 at 11:53 AM

Congrats on your great win.........George

John Freeman

March 10, 2011 at 10:13 AM

A pleasure dear one to see you again at the top Carolyn. Congratulations"getting to be a good habit" on your worthy first place win. Agape, Moses

Wilma Neels

March 10, 2011 at 10:06 AM

Hey Carolyn, congratulations on this gem winning in Carol's contest, love Wilma

Elaine George

March 10, 2011 at 8:53 AM

Wonderful images in this sensational Haiku., Carolyn. Many congrat's on your BIG WIN. Lainie

Carol Sunshine Brown

March 10, 2011 at 6:08 AM

Congratulations on the win in my contest Carolyn. Thank you for supporting my contest and my decision to run my contest my way. Love, Carol

Tahera Mannan

March 10, 2011 at 12:04 AM

Lovely ocean commotion Carolyn. many congrats dear friend.

Barbara Gorelick

March 9, 2011 at 7:56 PM

Lets pack it all in and go fishing. Congrats on your "ocean commotion"..Love, LNC

Ray Dillard

March 9, 2011 at 5:57 PM

Nicely done! It makes me want to go fishing! RAY

Robert A. Dufresne

March 9, 2011 at 4:55 PM

anything less than first place would have been a literary tragedy! Congratulations Carolyn!

Carrie Richards

March 9, 2011 at 3:40 PM

Even your title begins a clever rhyming sense of joy!! Makes me long for a trip to the ocean!! Congratulations, Carolyn!!

Debbie Guzzi

March 9, 2011 at 2:47 PM

lovely word picture here I can't wait! Light & Love CONGRAD's

Joshua Lacey

March 9, 2011 at 2:42 PM

have some honery animals! :)

Nette Onclaud

March 9, 2011 at 2:33 PM

you are super -duper no.1 here, carols... winning streak for this UBER SUPERB win... thumbs for the well-deserved hot! :) huggs, nette

Jack Horne

March 9, 2011 at 2:04 PM

Congratulations, Carolyn : ) I didn't realise I'd got a first too until Dr Ram and Andrea told me. Jack.

Joyce Johnson

March 9, 2011 at 2:00 PM

Very descriptive and I can see you fishing in the sunshine. congratulations on your no. 1. Love, Joyce

Andrea Dietrich

March 9, 2011 at 1:54 PM

I remember this cute one, CArolyn, Big congrats to you.

Dr.Ram Mehta

March 9, 2011 at 1:46 PM

Congratulations on the first place win in the contest of Carol, Carolyn

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

March 7, 2011 at 10:37 PM

Very fun set of haiku you have here, Carolyn :) enjoyed that last one especially -- and thank you for dropping by my poems-- heehee happy you enjoyed my ewwy poem, it didn't make it though but that's ok-- I enjoyed writing that one--:D although now I wonder whether I should've revealed those aspects of myself? Haha! I am too whacked O_o

Gwendolen Song

March 6, 2011 at 7:35 PM

Okay Carolyn! I now have figured out how you keep turning out these incredible writes!! You sit on the edge of the ocean with all it's relaxing properties letting your creativity flow. ......Meanwhile, I sit here with a house full of screaming children fighting over video game controllers!! ha ha. I enjoyed this one..especially the humorous twist at the conclusion. Gwendolen

Jslambert Mister Roboto

March 6, 2011 at 5:17 AM

Sweet poetic potion! Time to slap on some coconut lotion and head out to your ocean of commotion! Perfect read for me today! Pure Devotion + Raw Emotion. Can't wait to see more from you this way. ~JS Lambert

Joyce Johnson

March 5, 2011 at 10:04 AM

This is a winner, Carolyn. I wanted to let you know that I changed the last line of the 2nd verse to bring myself into the madness after reading your blog. Love, Joyce