Oak Tree Swing

There's a swing that is hung from a long oaken tree,
By a string where the young have a longing to be.

Where they fly to the sky, ever higher they go,
Till they cry, "Not so high! I shall die, don't you know?"

And they tread through the wold all around by the tree,
Where it's said ruins old can be found by a key.

How they thought many-a night how this fact could be true,
And they fought to set right while they wracked in a crew;

But they never could figure that blur in the tale,
So they clamber with vigor the fir by the trail.

They'd retrace to the place where the moss covered tree
Like a face, beamed with grace as it tossed o'er the lea.

Such a hold that tree held on their glad little selves
As they trolled songs of eld with the bad little elves;

And the song that they sing is a song specked with tears,
Of a long oaken swing cast along through the years;

Left alone by the lane, overgrown, never seen,
Ever blown by the rain, with a groan deep and keen,

Till a small little girl stopped a while on her way,
And a tall oaken burl with a smile bade her stay.

How she clove in a dive through the grove, and the tree,
How it throve, came alive in the cove, in the lea.


{Comments and critique by those knowledgeable 
about consonance vastly appreciated.}

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 12/30/2013 12:39:00 PM
Congrats on your winning work..Sara
Login to Reply
Date: 12/28/2013 12:04:00 PM
The Fishermen's Lament for the Alliteration assonance & consonance contest...did II have any assonance or consonance?
Login to Reply
Date: 12/28/2013 12:32:00 AM
hey, thanks for the comment on lines like silk!! I hope to find a poem of yours now that I have not yet seen.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/27/2013 7:29:00 PM
fav verse [Left alone by the lane, overgrown, never seen, Ever blown by the rain, with a groan deep and keen,] and I don't know, you critique mine? Congrad's on your win Light & Love
Login to Reply
Date: 12/27/2013 10:05:00 AM
I think that you have something going there but I am no judge of those things except alliteration(that is I recognize it sometimes)..Thanks for the honor of being honored in your contest..Sara
Login to Reply
Kendrick Avatar
Sara Kendrick
Date: 12/27/2013 10:05:00 AM
Third stanza first line I think there is a misspelled word..Sara
Date: 12/26/2013 8:57:00 PM
Another great poem from your pen...I could never come up with something like this. congrats. BG
Login to Reply
Date: 12/26/2013 7:37:00 PM
Lovely poem with alliteration and congratulations on your fine win, Isaiah
Login to Reply
Date: 12/26/2013 3:48:00 PM
This is wonderful and I congratulate you for your win in this contest. I think the alliteration was especially strong in certain stanzas, such as when you used lots of t's or s's. Assonance is always good in a rhyming poem because it's all about the vowels.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/26/2013 2:26:00 PM
Isiah, very beautiful poem, congratulations on your win. Your use of assonance--seen, deep, keen, grove, cove, throve, clove, etc. was very well written. The use of the rhyming words and vowel sounds allowed you to convey music in the poem. Thanks much for entering my contest.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/24/2013 4:02:00 AM
Isaiah, --Dropping by with SMILES and CHRISTMAS CHEERS. Thank You for making this a great year for ALL OF US. --- May magic fill your days and all your dreams come true this holiday season. MERRY CHRISTMAS <3 Love Linda -The Sweetest Poet Destroyer
Login to Reply
Date: 12/17/2013 3:03:00 PM
a beautiful melodic poem.Very Christmassy
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad