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Oak Tree Swing

There's a swing that is hung from a long oaken tree, By a string where the young have a longing to be. Where they fly to the sky, ever higher they go, Till they cry, "Not so high! I shall die, don't you know?" And they tread through the wold all around by the tree, Where it's said ruins old can be found by a key. How they thought many-a night how this fact could be true, And they fought to set right while they wracked in a crew; But they never could figure that blur in the tale, So they clamber with vigor the fir by the trail. They'd retrace to the place where the moss covered tree Like a face, beamed with grace as it tossed o'er the lea. Such a hold that tree held on their glad little selves As they trolled songs of eld with the bad little elves; And the song that they sing is a song specked with tears, Of a long oaken swing cast along through the years; Left alone by the lane, overgrown, never seen, Ever blown by the rain, with a groan deep and keen, Till a small little girl stopped a while on her way, And a tall oaken burl with a smile bade her stay. How she clove in a dive through the grove, and the tree, How it throve, came alive in the cove, in the lea. {Comments and critique by those knowledgeable about consonance vastly appreciated.}

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 12/30/2013 12:39:00 PM
Congrats on your winning work..Sara
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Date: 12/28/2013 12:04:00 PM
The Fishermen's Lament for the Alliteration assonance & consonance contest...did II have any assonance or consonance?
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Date: 12/28/2013 12:32:00 AM
hey, thanks for the comment on lines like silk!! I hope to find a poem of yours now that I have not yet seen.
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Date: 12/27/2013 7:29:00 PM
fav verse [Left alone by the lane, overgrown, never seen, Ever blown by the rain, with a groan deep and keen,] and I don't know, you critique mine? Congrad's on your win Light & Love
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Date: 12/27/2013 10:05:00 AM
I think that you have something going there but I am no judge of those things except alliteration(that is I recognize it sometimes)..Thanks for the honor of being honored in your contest..Sara
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Kendrick Avatar
Sara Kendrick
Date: 12/27/2013 10:05:00 AM
Third stanza first line I think there is a misspelled word..Sara
Date: 12/26/2013 8:57:00 PM
Another great poem from your pen...I could never come up with something like this. congrats. BG
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Date: 12/26/2013 7:37:00 PM
Lovely poem with alliteration and congratulations on your fine win, Isaiah
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Date: 12/26/2013 3:48:00 PM
This is wonderful and I congratulate you for your win in this contest. I think the alliteration was especially strong in certain stanzas, such as when you used lots of t's or s's. Assonance is always good in a rhyming poem because it's all about the vowels.
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Date: 12/26/2013 2:26:00 PM
Isiah, very beautiful poem, congratulations on your win. Your use of assonance--seen, deep, keen, grove, cove, throve, clove, etc. was very well written. The use of the rhyming words and vowel sounds allowed you to convey music in the poem. Thanks much for entering my contest.
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Date: 12/24/2013 4:02:00 AM
Isaiah, --Dropping by with SMILES and CHRISTMAS CHEERS. Thank You for making this a great year for ALL OF US. --- May magic fill your days and all your dreams come true this holiday season. MERRY CHRISTMAS <3 Love Linda -The Sweetest Poet Destroyer
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Date: 12/17/2013 3:03:00 PM
a beautiful melodic poem.Very Christmassy
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Book: Shattered Sighs