Numb

Hey Hey I woke up with a story Something lingering on my lips to be told. I pondered on how to sound convincing talking about it; Or, as in this case, writing about it. A tale of consistently feeling like sleep was both good and bad. I needed the sleep for me to be productive; But I didn't need it as a reminder that the day was over. That the day I just spent not achieving much was ending. With the fear of repetition, The words lingered. The story of how I placed my people on a good slate. Making sure there were smiles when I reached out. We don't always talk about what makes life for us. Like I know you are there, and I only want good memories for you. I hope that this rapport is worth it in the future. But right now, I feel numb. I'm telling you about 150 days of muffled hearing. The days I was indifferent to the world. Focused solely on the feeling of how much success I crave. The inherited patience. The cautious waves of laughter. Dreams feeling too big when they aren't. "You are stronger than I am"... I wondered if that was a statement or a question by my loved one. Amidst the numerous intentional chores. I realized these are the numbing days. Held on to my phone for too long; Something I seldom do. Browsing through the several musical apps, Wondering what song suits the situation. Should it be upbeat? And quicken my body from this numb state. Should it be mellow? And embrace what I am feeling right now. The emotion is unknown, but I define it as numb. While still searching through my phone. I found that no songs come to mind. I am keeping myself busy; With things that make me seem hardworking to others; Yes, those intentional chores. They became my music. Drowning myself in those lyrics. The lyrics of my movement, Accompanied by that sole desire for this phase to be over; These are the numbing days.