Nowhere

Forever a slave
To the thoughts in my mind...
To the memories....
I thought I had left behind....
The past creeps up slowly.
Haunting thoughts of you....
Wanting to control me.

It can't be true....
I saw the best in you.
But I look at you with a blank stare....
This disdain has gone nowhere.
What have I become?
Where did I go?
Why did we always argue, 
as if we're some reality show?
I became a slave to your needs....
A slave to your desires....
A slave to your wants....
I put you first....

Which was the mistake....
I put YOU..... first.
So now, time has passed,
And I'm here face to face.
No memories of good in my mind.
Only thoughts of cruelty...
The sight of you makes me sick.
Your voice disturbs my soul.
Mentioning your name creates anger....
A level of contempt that's hard to control.

I used to laugh at the memories,
The good ones we used to share.
But now, there is hatred for you.
And it's going nowhere.
The contempt....
The bitterness....
The anger....
The rage....
The days of feeling I was trapped....
In a dirty, stinking cage....
They're all I have left of you. 

These hateful thoughts....
Are going nowhere.

Copyright © Ian Milligan | Year Posted 2020

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