Now You Know Why

i love him so much but i don't know what to do i can't let him go it's so hard. we can't be together but the thing is we belong together but nobody understands that. i told him i was scared he said " baby why you scared i won't hurt you" but really then i didn't know why i was but know i do. i don't wont to lose him and not the way by breaking up the way's and things he is doing. they hurt me so bad i rather him hit me, cheat, and or do something else besides what he is don't now he says he not going to get addicted i have herd that before. i just wish he would call me and be his self that means drug free. i hate to say this but i HATE people own drugs they act different and not there self. i don't wont to tell him to stop that means i don't love him for who he is. but really its not him the drug makes him a different person. i could say i don't hate him i hate his ways. i miss him and worry about him ever minute down to the second of each and ever day. sometimes i just sit at night waiting own him to call me. i think the worst things could of happen. i don't know what i'm going to do i think i'm going to go crazy. i cant help but to cry and cry ever time i think about him. i just hope he still feels the same about me as i do him i wont him to just come and see me tell me he is okay so i wont worry as much as i do. i love him so much i'm so scared i'm' going to lose him. more then scared TERRIFIED. i don't know what i would do with out him. i wont to see him so bad or at least hear his voice. i would be the happiest person ever. i wont to kiss him over and over again tell him i love him and he say it back. the thing is i told him i was scared i didn't know why but it's sucks cause i really didn't wont to find out. cause this is scary its like a night mare. i can never wake up from. so now i know why and i wish i didn't.