Nothing Works

i accept i cant call you my own, and i know you aren't obligated to me.. but on some days, nothing works..! no philosophy or beliefs, no amount of alcohol, no crying under the blanket.. NOTHING! the void left behind , just crawls up unawares, making my chest heavy, and my eyes dewy.. and all i want is for you to come back! somehow, Just Come Back! to quell my rising anxiety, i create a temporary haze of happiness.. i dreamily wonder, what if we were still together, what if the timing hadn't been bad.. what if we had tried just a little bit more... what if... what if...! and even as the innumerable probabilities twirl in my mind, i realize i'm creating just a fictitious world, that holds a guarantee of nothing..! but still i continue.. i continue because its the only delusional world, where you and i are still together, and because it is the only way to temporarily fill up the void left by you..