Nothing At All

Not enough? Am i not enough? I thought I was the one. You lied to me, yes indirectly but a lie is a lie the same. my heart aches with fear of uncertainty but knowledge is my game. It is the path I chose, I wanted the pain but honestly I had no clue, that my search for such even purely intended would find me losing you. yes it was my fault for breaking your trust for running amuck trying to find myself. i went about it all wrong but again my intentions were pure from the start. you'll never realize though, that you broke it first that night in the hotel room. yeah you have your excuses but you know they'll never do. you betrayed me first I've never been hurt the way i was hurt by you. what kind of monster can be so two faced? love me by day and lay aside your convictions to crawl into a bed of sin in the pit of hell by the shadows of night. you monster you made me a monster myself and monster it was made you. this circle of death will kill us all and I'm afraid. and i feel theres nothing i can do. i would curse my monster slay him to death and never look back to his ashes.. if only i knew you would do the same and truly NEVER turn back. its my greatest fear in giving you my all and if betrayed it would be the honest and ultimate death of me, id invite it back and be done with this world, careless again id become. but, find a way no matter what it takes to make me believe your intent is real and ill do what i say because i want it that way our wounds over due to be healed. please just give me that love that I've craved my whole life from birth till the time i met you. none have satisfied since, none ever will. all i want is you and your love. but hide it not like you did in the past your fear of me is what created my fear. come back to the beginning like it should have been before that monster got to you. with me, lay it all down and we'll follow this path together! of apologies and forgivness i know not the outcome but of love i am certain yet only of this, i long for your smell your taste your hand interwind in mine just as our souls forever, i want it for all eternity but if only to have it in time would be my life's passion. all i want is you. i can say im sorry for the rest of my life but id rather spend it telling you the endlessness of my love. intentions pure and honest and my only want in all the world is for the feeling to be returned with the same passion its dealt out. i love you.