Not So Sure

Slowly getting tired and frustrated with the situation that's at hand, but yet I'm trying to get a good grip on it and not let it go, cause when it goes its going to fall and once it falls its going to explode, the feeling that I'm getting gets stronger by day and weakens me by night, I try to remind my self this is how it was since the beginning, I'm not suppose to neither am I allowed to let it affect me like this, slowly ill start pushing away. I been hurting, that empty feeling is coming back slowly the hole that was once patched up is simply reopening, as much as I try to maintain it shut the pain knocks at it making it crack. And it's not a feeling of loneliness because this feeling has just been growing waiting to escalate just building one on top of the other forming into this giant tOwer not well build, I'm not losing interest just focus on what's in front of me and what I have needing something to pull me back saying look I'm here, words are slowly just turning into words I can feel like I'm hurting not in pain, just hurting that discomfort in my chest is annoying to the point where throwing up seems like the best option as I hurt I know I'm hurting you to trust me its not my intension to. I love you forgive me or forgive me not but I blame you you have me so rapped around your finger you don't even notice how much I love you or need you when I need you the most your never really there your presences maybe but your mind is far gone I'm sorry I put you threw this the headaches and heartaches cause trust me i feel them too, but you chose me and I chose you and we chose each other knowing that we us aren't actually perfect we each have our problems you have yours and I have mine once your problems becomes me and my problem becomes you the world we have builded starts to drifted apart you on one side me on the other yet we still hold hands trying not to let go hoping and praying for the best to make it come back together again I know there's a purpose to why our paths were put in the same direction to each other I'm still trying to figure it out I love you I always have I just need to get reuse to being use to the beginning and how it all started and what it use to be, But yes things are changing I'm still trying to hold of grip of the change But at the end of the day, It will forever be me and you, Together again.