Not Ready To Join the World Yet

My phone rings and rings; my friends miss me. I do not answer, not ready to be upbeat or entertaining. I cannot stand a Debby Downer, so refuse to be one. I am not ready to join the world of the healthy yet. My malady has reappeared in full force today. I am in pain. Break down and open pain pill bottle, not wanting to. My husband has insisted. He wants me well. He is my protector. The residual effects of this malady are awkwardly apparent. It is a lingering illness that angers and saddens me. This is not me! This has held me hostage for too long already. I sit in the sun on an ice pack and a donut, nurturing my wounds the best I can. Attitude check. Part of me is trying to rally. Another friend calls. This time I answer. She wants me to travel forty-five minutes in a car. Meet her tomorrow. No one understands. Car rides are killers. I explain. She and another friend will come here next week. I feel relief and excitement. They are coming to me. So much better.