Not a Mother

Your smile held the sunshine Clearing the clouds in the sky Your voice a singsong A quiet comfort in the nighttime Your grace unmatched You were beauty all on your own Yet your beauty was illusory No one knew the truth It was a rouse to hide the hate living in you Laughing with me at a passing joke Then spilling your words of disdain down my throat You would giggle so sweetly Then be enraged within the blink of an eye I never knew whether to laugh or cry Nor could I predict which way you would sway So I never wanted to face another confusing day But your deceitful beauty held my heart I could never separate illusion from the truth Surely such an angelic smile could not disguise an evil mind Surely such soft hands caressing mine Could not be the same ones bruising my skin One could see how that would confuse But now with age I can comprehend the truth You were not a mother, you were not yourself You had an illness for which you would not get help I choose now, Mother, to see you in Heaven's light A beautiful soul no longer trapped in your own mind Goodbye