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Warning: vaguely gross content... hmm, can something be ‘vaguely’ gross?

NO TOILETS IN THE SKY
To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)


Santa’s doing tinkles as he travels on his way
Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today
He has no private place to pee which fills him with dismay
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way

Santa’s got his legs crossed cos he’s been out on the beer
His guts are throwing tantrums and he wishes home was near
He knows he’s gonna poo his pants that fact is fairly clear
For there’s no public toilets... in the upper atmosphere

He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky

Santa hits some turbulence and says a little prayer
He needs to poo and piddle but there’s nowhere private there
He’s sure he gonna throw up and become a vomit sprayer
For there’s no public toilets... in the ozone layer

Santa’s gonna poop himself, how will he show his face
Public humiliation, and permanent disgrace
He can’t hold on much longer, though he needs a private place
For there’s no public toilets... on the edge of space

He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky

Santa belched and burped and then his tummy grumbled loud
His fart was wet but silent, he was glad because he’s proud
Santa’s really trying not to throw up over crowds
For there’s no public toilets... high above the clouds

Santa’s doubled up, good job the reindeer know the way
He’s squirting out of every orifice a putrid spray
All kinds of hell are raining down on Earth this Christmas Day
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way

He needs to go
He needs to pray
No toilets in the sky
No toilets in the sky
No toilets in the sky

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