No Swimming

The Murray can be dangerous,
as the locals have worked out.
There has been some drowning's
plus a few close shaves about.
Some blame grog; some foolishness,
and a few don't seem to know,
but most folks that live along it,
reckon it's the undertow.

Teddy Miller often reckons,
here is where he found God,
by cleaning up the stream of carp,
and often dining on the cod.
He fishes where most fishermen
don’t rate his spot a mention,
but it’s perfect for this old bloke,
now that he's on the pension.

You see it’s beside the highway,
and a perfect picnic spot,
where the water looks inviting,
when the weathers fairly hot.
It’s on these days that Teddy hangs,
his coat across a fading sign,
and then he waits for victims,
to come near his fishing line.

A car drove in, parked on the bank
this sun drenched afternoon.
A shapely girl walked to the edge,
and Ted could see that soon,
he’d be watching her peel off her clothes
right down to her bikini.
So when she stepped into the water,
Ted's eyes were going goggly.

"Oye!" He yelled, "What are you doin?
You can't go in swimming here!"
The young lass turned her head around
and questioned Teddy’s fear.
"Look" Ted said, "This notice says,
as he removed his coat,
“There is danger of an undertow,
so I think you should take note”.

The young lady read the notice,
and then she thanked old Ted,
but after picking up her clothes,
she turned around and said
"You waited ‘til my clothes were off!"
A terse voice now expressing.
"Yeah, well,” grinned Ted “The sign
don't say nothin' 'bout undressing".
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Cohen Avatar
March 20, 2020 at 11:28 PM
Great stuff. You got the mojo.
Laurie Avatar
March 26, 2020 at 9:58 PM
G'day there Eric … thanks for reading and writing up a comment - stay safe - Lindsay
Romios Avatar
March 15, 2020 at 3:33 AM
Golly, your writing amazes and shines. I just think you are a natural born poet! A blessing to us all Panagiota
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:30 PM
G'day Panagiota ... thank you for your very positive comment Panagiota. I do enjoy writing humorous rhyming verse using a few simple rules and it appears to work - thanks again Panagiota - Lindsay
Babcock Avatar
March 14, 2020 at 12:14 PM
Good ole R Ted wanted a thrill. lol love phyl
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:26 PM
Hello Phyllis ... yes, but possibly ended up with a wack over the head. Thank you Phyllis - Lindsay
Lamoureux Avatar
March 14, 2020 at 9:01 AM
Ha ha, this is great. Thanks for the chuckle.
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:23 PM
G'day Richard ... pleased you got a chuckle out of this could be true tale Richard - Lindsay
Andresen Avatar
March 12, 2020 at 4:58 AM
:))) ... a humor that scores very high ... a great "punchline", Lindsay :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:21 PM
Hello Anne-Lise ... thank you for your nice comment Anne-Lise - Lindsay
Debole Avatar
March 12, 2020 at 4:06 AM
Hi Lindsay, Clever ending! Really enjoyed. - Gail
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:19 PM
Hello Gail ... pleased you enjoyed this tale of wit Gail - thank you - Lindsay
Wolf Avatar
March 11, 2020 at 8:39 PM
Hahahahah! 'Vintage Lindsay Laurie,' I must say. Thanks, Gershon
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:17 PM
Hello Gershon ... pleased you got a kick out of the real life verse Gershon - Lindsay
Dietrich Avatar
March 11, 2020 at 5:04 PM
haha, you nailed it again with a punch at the end!!
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:15 PM
Hello Andrea ... I agree, and it just seems so natural that it could be real - Lindsay
Proxenos Avatar
March 10, 2020 at 7:26 PM
A story teller of note Lindsay my friend,- and your punch line comes so natrally - you were just saying the truth at the end of the poem! Blessings Lindsay, Jennifer.
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:12 PM
Hello Jennifer ... and many times the truth can be funnier than anything fictional. Thank you for your fine comment Jennifer - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
March 9, 2020 at 6:16 PM
I adore your humour Lindsay you are a natural story teller and this was no fisherman's tale lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:10 PM
Hello Jan ... don't ask me where it comes from Jan, but I have heard so many comical tales that fit so well in day to day living verse - thanks Jan - Lindsay
Horsman Avatar
March 7, 2020 at 8:41 AM
Amazing story teller my friend, Your poetry needs to be archived for future generations to read...
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:06 PM
G'day Harry ... I'm just pleased that readers appear to enjoy this style of storytelling Harry. I can't imagined my poetry being archived - Lindsay
Theraven Avatar
March 6, 2020 at 10:27 PM
Lindsay, There's a word that I'm trying to convey, but I can only find one that befits my intent. That word for this poem..is... brilliant. -Richard
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:03 PM
G'day Richard ... your comment has me feeling humble - thank you Richard - Lindsay
Duet Avatar
March 6, 2020 at 7:08 PM
lLOL....This truly made me "laugh out loud"! Loved it...
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 6:01 PM
Hello Carole ... I guess in some ways, this poem does give you a sense of being there. Pleased you had a giggle Carole - Lindsay
Adams Avatar
March 4, 2020 at 4:29 PM
Another awesome write my friend! Smarter than me, I probably would have blown it and spoke too soon!.....80)
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 5:58 PM
G'day Pat ... you must be a true gentleman who many blokes call foolish then Pat - Lindsay
Callus Avatar
March 4, 2020 at 4:00 PM
Teddy was no fool...and he played it real cool! Found this poem most entertaining, Lindsay. Regards // paul
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 5:55 PM
Hello Paul ... being from the country, Teddy's reaction is naturally slower. Pleased you enjoyed this little tale Paul - Lindsay
Curtis Avatar
March 4, 2020 at 3:04 PM
This reminds me of the time I got a job as a zoo keeper but was fired the very next day-----they had signs everywhere saying "DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS" so I didn't.
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 5:52 PM
G'day Jerry ... obeying orders and you got the sack! You wouldn't want to work there anyway - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
March 3, 2020 at 8:55 PM
Loved it, only done what any other bloke would have done. Tom
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 5:50 PM
G'day Tom ... true, true, and more true. Chivalry occurs just a bit later these days - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
March 3, 2020 at 6:12 PM
You gotta pinch an ear now and then! Aloha! Rico
Laurie Avatar
March 16, 2020 at 5:48 PM
G'day Rico ... no sense in kicking yourself too soon is there - Lindsay
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